You should get paid for this. *waiting for chapta 3*
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CartoonLink
#27
Mon Aug 22, 2011 9:31 am
Zekrom & Reshiram
Chapter 3:
Trainer: My name is Gary Motherfucking Oak.
Ash: No shit! My name is Ash Ketchum.
Gary: Nice to meet you Ash. I fuck mothers.
Ash: Cool!
Gary: Have you ever taken this type of pill that makes you all chill?
Ash: No, what is it?
Gary: It's E. And I'm not referring to my penis.
Ash: Oookay. Well, I'm on my way to Viridan. Bye.
Gary: Call me you anal bagger!
Ash continues to walk. He is walking in grass. BATTLE BEGINS.
Ash: What the fuck?
WILD RESHIRAM APPEARED.
Ash: This'll be a piece of cake.
Pik uses kick.
Pik takes it's foot, shoves it up Reshiram's rectum, causing Reshiram to have his prostate milked and ejaculate all over the newly painted fence, and then punches it in the throat.
CRITICAL HIT!
Wild Reshiram uses Aeroblast.
Reshiram calls forth the power of the gods, and blows a hypnotic light beam at Pik, causing Pik to faint.
Battle ends, Pik faints.
Ash: WHAT THE FUCK?! I WAS FIGHTING A LEVEL 100?
Random Trainer: Awcshually, iz a livil 101.
Ash: Huh?
Random Trainer: Reshoruhm is frum Unova aka the goyist rejun evar.
Ash: Oooooooooooooookay, I'm going now.
Ash runs to Viridian City hospital.
Ash: Can you please heal my Porkemon?
Hot Babe: Sure, anything for a cutey! Listen, I have a fetish for virgins, wanna have sex?
Ash: I have no idea what that means, but okay!
Ash and Hot Babe go into the back room with the bed.
Hot Babe: My name is Misty, by the way. You can have my bike! No need to steal it.
Ash: Okay, so what do we do?
Misty: Take off your clothes, and let me suck you off.
Ash takes off his clothes.
Misty takes off her clothes, and she has B cups, and a perfectly shaved pubic region.
Misty: Shaved is the expression.
Ash pops a boner, which is four inches.
Misty: Fuck it, you're hard enough already! Now lay down, and let me do this voodoo urban magic!
Ash lays on the bed.
Misty jumps upon him, sticking Ash's chode into her vagina, making Ash squeal like a pig.
Ash: GWAAAMBAUBBBAAAAA!
Misty: OH YES, YES, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ash: This is awesome! What do you call it?
Misty: Vaginal intercourse, sex for short.
Ash: Sweet, I had sex!
Two hours later.
Misty has had seventeen orgasms. Ash has had none.
Ash: I feel like my doodle is about to puke, like it's starting to throb!
Misty: Tee hee.
Ash: OOOOOOOH, YEAH!
Misty jumps off of Ash.
Ash: That was amazing, wanna do it anytime?
Misty: Sure! Now let me fix up your Pik-achu.
Ash: Okay!
Ash goes and waits in the lobby.
Misty sends Pik out.
Ash: PIK! You okay, bud?
Pik: PIKMINTENDO-ACHU.
Misty: Can I accompany you on your journey?
Ash: Hell yes!
End of chapter three.
Trainer: My name is Gary Motherfucking Oak.
Ash: No shit! My name is Ash Ketchum.
Gary: Nice to meet you Ash. I fuck mothers.
Ash: Cool!
Gary: Have you ever taken this type of pill that makes you all chill?
Ash: No, what is it?
Gary: It's E. And I'm not referring to my penis.
Ash: Oookay. Well, I'm on my way to Viridan. Bye.
Gary: Call me you anal bagger!
Ash continues to walk. He is walking in grass. BATTLE BEGINS.
Ash: What the fuck?
WILD RESHIRAM APPEARED.
Ash: This'll be a piece of cake.
Pik uses kick.
Pik takes it's foot, shoves it up Reshiram's rectum, causing Reshiram to have his prostate milked and ejaculate all over the newly painted fence, and then punches it in the throat.
CRITICAL HIT!
Wild Reshiram uses Aeroblast.
Reshiram calls forth the power of the gods, and blows a hypnotic light beam at Pik, causing Pik to faint.
Battle ends, Pik faints.
Ash: WHAT THE FUCK?! I WAS FIGHTING A LEVEL 100?
Random Trainer: Awcshually, iz a livil 101.
Ash: Huh?
Random Trainer: Reshoruhm is frum Unova aka the goyist rejun evar.
Ash: Oooooooooooooookay, I'm going now.
Ash runs to Viridian City hospital.
Ash: Can you please heal my Porkemon?
Hot Babe: Sure, anything for a cutey! Listen, I have a fetish for virgins, wanna have sex?
Ash: I have no idea what that means, but okay!
Ash and Hot Babe go into the back room with the bed.
Hot Babe: My name is Misty, by the way. You can have my bike! No need to steal it.
Ash: Okay, so what do we do?
Misty: Take off your clothes, and let me suck you off.
Ash takes off his clothes.
Misty takes off her clothes, and she has B cups, and a perfectly shaved pubic region.
Misty: Shaved is the expression.
Ash pops a boner, which is four inches.
Misty: Fuck it, you're hard enough already! Now lay down, and let me do this voodoo urban magic!
Ash lays on the bed.
Misty jumps upon him, sticking Ash's chode into her vagina, making Ash squeal like a pig.
Ash: GWAAAMBAUBBBAAAAA!
Misty: OH YES, YES, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ash: This is awesome! What do you call it?
Misty: Vaginal intercourse, sex for short.
Ash: Sweet, I had sex!
Two hours later.
Misty has had seventeen orgasms. Ash has had none.
Ash: I feel like my doodle is about to puke, like it's starting to throb!
Misty: Tee hee.
Ash: OOOOOOOH, YEAH!
Misty jumps off of Ash.
Ash: That was amazing, wanna do it anytime?
Misty: Sure! Now let me fix up your Pik-achu.
Ash: Okay!
Ash goes and waits in the lobby.
Misty sends Pik out.
Ash: PIK! You okay, bud?
Pik: PIKMINTENDO-ACHU.
Misty: Can I accompany you on your journey?
Ash: Hell yes!
End of chapter three.
zmanrwks
#28
Mon Aug 22, 2011 9:33 am
Moderator
The plot is really great, and the character development is outstanding.
CartoonLink
#30
Mon Aug 22, 2011 10:16 am
Zekrom & Reshiram
Chapter Four:
Ash and Misty go to Viridian Gym.
Ash walks up and challenges the leader, Brock Obama.
Ash: I challenge you, Brock Obama to a Porkemon match! I need the first Dragon Ball.
Brock: You have courage, son, I have raised all my little brothers and sisters, my parents were always doing it, never safely, and now they fucked off, so I have to take care of them. Believe it or not, I was the planned one.
Ash: coolstorybro.
Brock: And I wish to become the president of the Unified States.
Ash: That's... um, cool?
Brock: Just kidding, Unified States sucks, Kanto is so much better.
Ash: Okay, can we battle?
Brock: Sure.
Misty: GO ASH, HONEY, I LOVE YOU!!!
Battle begins.
Ash sends out Pik-achu.
Brock sends out Starly.
Pik uses stab.
Pik pulls out the Rebellion Claymore, slices Starly's arm off, causing blood to drip from his ears, giving Starly the biggest boner kill ever.
CRITICAL HIT!
Starly uses rest.
Starly took out some of it's literature homework, and fell fast asleep, going from 13/206 to 14/206.
Pik uses cry.
Pik uses a fatal cry that causes nightmares about the dead, and entities into the minds of the sleeping.
Starly has a nightmare and explodes.
Battle ends.
Brock: You beat me...? What the fuck, that guy who sold me this stupid Starly from Sinnoh over eBay owes me my $63478 back! Fucking Sinnohbian's.
Ash: Now, I would like the Dragon Ball.
Ash received the Dragon Ball No. 1.
Brock: May I accompany you on your journey?
Ash: Sure!
Brock: Man, you sure got one hot mama. I'd love to spread her buttcheeks with maple syrup, and eat chocolate chips out of her corn hole.
Ash: That's my fucking girlfriend you dick!
Brock: Oh, okay. But can I still come? LOL! I said cum.
Ash: Mmk... Only if you be my bitch and make us food.
Brock: Oh, I took seven years of home ec!
Ash: Is that even possible?
Brock: No, I was the best cook in the class, I just put poison in my food so I would get a fail and get to repeat the class so I can cook more!
Ash: Kaykay. Let's go to Pewter City.
Ash, Misty, and Brock continue their journey to Pewter City. Will Brock ever get a new Starley? Will Ash and Misty ever get married? Will Justin Bieber ever hit puberty? All these answers and more will be revealed in later chapters.
End of chapter four.
Ash and Misty go to Viridian Gym.
Ash walks up and challenges the leader, Brock Obama.
Ash: I challenge you, Brock Obama to a Porkemon match! I need the first Dragon Ball.
Brock: You have courage, son, I have raised all my little brothers and sisters, my parents were always doing it, never safely, and now they fucked off, so I have to take care of them. Believe it or not, I was the planned one.
Ash: coolstorybro.
Brock: And I wish to become the president of the Unified States.
Ash: That's... um, cool?
Brock: Just kidding, Unified States sucks, Kanto is so much better.
Ash: Okay, can we battle?
Brock: Sure.
Misty: GO ASH, HONEY, I LOVE YOU!!!
Battle begins.
Ash sends out Pik-achu.
Brock sends out Starly.
Pik uses stab.
Pik pulls out the Rebellion Claymore, slices Starly's arm off, causing blood to drip from his ears, giving Starly the biggest boner kill ever.
CRITICAL HIT!
Starly uses rest.
Starly took out some of it's literature homework, and fell fast asleep, going from 13/206 to 14/206.
Pik uses cry.
Pik uses a fatal cry that causes nightmares about the dead, and entities into the minds of the sleeping.
Starly has a nightmare and explodes.
Battle ends.
Brock: You beat me...? What the fuck, that guy who sold me this stupid Starly from Sinnoh over eBay owes me my $63478 back! Fucking Sinnohbian's.
Ash: Now, I would like the Dragon Ball.
Ash received the Dragon Ball No. 1.
Brock: May I accompany you on your journey?
Ash: Sure!
Brock: Man, you sure got one hot mama. I'd love to spread her buttcheeks with maple syrup, and eat chocolate chips out of her corn hole.
Ash: That's my fucking girlfriend you dick!
Brock: Oh, okay. But can I still come? LOL! I said cum.
Ash: Mmk... Only if you be my bitch and make us food.
Brock: Oh, I took seven years of home ec!
Ash: Is that even possible?
Brock: No, I was the best cook in the class, I just put poison in my food so I would get a fail and get to repeat the class so I can cook more!
Ash: Kaykay. Let's go to Pewter City.
Ash, Misty, and Brock continue their journey to Pewter City. Will Brock ever get a new Starley? Will Ash and Misty ever get married? Will Justin Bieber ever hit puberty? All these answers and more will be revealed in later chapters.
End of chapter four.
Hydrocannon2727
#32
Mon Aug 22, 2011 10:33 am
Zoroark
I can answer them nao:
Yes, he will steal it by poisoning a trainer.
Of course, but it won't be legal.
Not any time soon, but I hope he does on stage.
Yes, he will steal it by poisoning a trainer.
Of course, but it won't be legal.
Not any time soon, but I hope he does on stage.
CartoonLink
#36
Tue Aug 23, 2011 8:34 am
Zekrom & Reshiram
Chapter 5:
Ash, Misty, and Brock walk into Viridian forest.
Ash sees a trainer.
Trainer: You are a ball bearer, let's battle!
Ash: What the fuck did you just say to me?
BATTLE BEGINS.
Ash uses Pik-achu.
Trainer uses Hitmonlee.
Pik uses punch.
Pik flexes it's muscles, lifts up a tank, and slams it onto Hitmonlee causing Hitmonlee to die and crap it's pants.
LEVEL UP!
Battle ends.
Trainer: What the fuck was that shit? How the hell can that retarded fucking rat pick up a tank and slam it onto my Hitmonlee?
Ash: I train him to the core.
Trainer: Seriously, what the fuck... now I owe you $2386.
Ash and friends continue to walk.
Ash sees Rowly Jefferson aka his mom's "boyfriend" having anal sex with a cat.
Ash: What the fuck man?! You're cheating on my mom!
Rowly: Your mother is dead, Ashley. So who the fuck gives a shit?
Ash: Not only that, but that's with a fucking cat!
Rowly: Eh, pussy is pussy.
Ash: You're gonna get herfastifilosis man, the worst STI ever. It causes you to be in extreme pain, and you can't die, and it hurts to piss, shit, jizz, masturbate, have a boner, and sleep.
Rowly: Eh, I'm the one who gave your mom psnuemaonly fsihcu after all.
Ash: YOU'RE THE REASON MY MOTHER IS DEAD, LET'S BATTLE!
Battle begins.
Ash uses punch.
Ash runs up towards Rowly, taking his fist and punching Rowly in his cleavage, and then kicked him in the ribs.
It's super effective!
Rowly uses kick.
Rowly takes his leg and tries to kick Ash in the head, but Ash dodges it.
Ash uses slap.
Ash makes his hand into a straight line, smacking Rowly to the face to cause him to spit out blood from his nose.
CRITICAL HIT!
Rowly uses punch.
Rowly punches Ash in the head.
CRITICAL HIT!
It's super effective!
Ash can barely move.
Ash uses stab.
Ash grabs the knife that Brock uses to cut onions with, and cuts off Rowly's penis.
CRITICAL HIT! IT'S DEADLY EFFECTIVE!
Rowly faints.
Battle ends.
Ash: CHEAT ON MY MOM AND GIVE HER STI'S AND KILL HER YOU BITCH! AND THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!
Misty: HAHAHA, his dick got cut off. No, I will not keep it as a dildo, Ash is my personal dildo.
Ash: Aw, I love you Misty, let's go stay at a hotel in Pewter.
They get to Pewter City, and go into the hotel, and get two rooms.
Ash inserted his penis into Misty's vagina, causing him to squeal.
Misty was enjoying the sex, and her nipples were hard as ever.
Brock was in the other room listening, so he turned on Another Cinderella Story with Selena Gomez.
Brock: She turns my software into hardware.
Brock turns on Back Door Sluts 9, the most hardcore porno ever.
Brock masturbates, and lasted two minutes.
Six hours later, the sex between Ash and Misty stopped.
End of chapter 5.
Ash, Misty, and Brock walk into Viridian forest.
Ash sees a trainer.
Trainer: You are a ball bearer, let's battle!
Ash: What the fuck did you just say to me?
BATTLE BEGINS.
Ash uses Pik-achu.
Trainer uses Hitmonlee.
Pik uses punch.
Pik flexes it's muscles, lifts up a tank, and slams it onto Hitmonlee causing Hitmonlee to die and crap it's pants.
LEVEL UP!
Battle ends.
Trainer: What the fuck was that shit? How the hell can that retarded fucking rat pick up a tank and slam it onto my Hitmonlee?
Ash: I train him to the core.
Trainer: Seriously, what the fuck... now I owe you $2386.
Ash and friends continue to walk.
Ash sees Rowly Jefferson aka his mom's "boyfriend" having anal sex with a cat.
Ash: What the fuck man?! You're cheating on my mom!
Rowly: Your mother is dead, Ashley. So who the fuck gives a shit?
Ash: Not only that, but that's with a fucking cat!
Rowly: Eh, pussy is pussy.
Ash: You're gonna get herfastifilosis man, the worst STI ever. It causes you to be in extreme pain, and you can't die, and it hurts to piss, shit, jizz, masturbate, have a boner, and sleep.
Rowly: Eh, I'm the one who gave your mom psnuemaonly fsihcu after all.
Ash: YOU'RE THE REASON MY MOTHER IS DEAD, LET'S BATTLE!
Battle begins.
Ash uses punch.
Ash runs up towards Rowly, taking his fist and punching Rowly in his cleavage, and then kicked him in the ribs.
It's super effective!
Rowly uses kick.
Rowly takes his leg and tries to kick Ash in the head, but Ash dodges it.
Ash uses slap.
Ash makes his hand into a straight line, smacking Rowly to the face to cause him to spit out blood from his nose.
CRITICAL HIT!
Rowly uses punch.
Rowly punches Ash in the head.
CRITICAL HIT!
It's super effective!
Ash can barely move.
Ash uses stab.
Ash grabs the knife that Brock uses to cut onions with, and cuts off Rowly's penis.
CRITICAL HIT! IT'S DEADLY EFFECTIVE!
Rowly faints.
Battle ends.
Ash: CHEAT ON MY MOM AND GIVE HER STI'S AND KILL HER YOU BITCH! AND THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!
Misty: HAHAHA, his dick got cut off. No, I will not keep it as a dildo, Ash is my personal dildo.
Ash: Aw, I love you Misty, let's go stay at a hotel in Pewter.
They get to Pewter City, and go into the hotel, and get two rooms.
Ash inserted his penis into Misty's vagina, causing him to squeal.
Misty was enjoying the sex, and her nipples were hard as ever.
Brock was in the other room listening, so he turned on Another Cinderella Story with Selena Gomez.
Brock: She turns my software into hardware.
Brock turns on Back Door Sluts 9, the most hardcore porno ever.
Brock masturbates, and lasted two minutes.
Six hours later, the sex between Ash and Misty stopped.
End of chapter 5.
Smash
#40
Tue Aug 23, 2011 10:48 am
Zekrom & Reshiram
But THEY thought it was Lord Of The Rings Hydro.
Linkodude43
#41
Tue Aug 23, 2011 6:46 pm
Zekrom & Reshiram
This is getting better, then better yet :O MAKE IT INTO A MOVIE NAO
MMM10
#43
Sun Aug 28, 2011 4:33 pm
Balrog
its funneh beacuse ashs mom died to sex... thats how i wanna die
Linkodude43
#44
Sun Aug 28, 2011 6:36 pm
Zekrom & Reshiram
Whys it too late, Ill throw some money around to get some really horrible cheap actors (AKA the one who actually voiced ash, yes i know shes a girl) to do it for cheap and make it happenSmash560 wrote:It's too late for that Linko
CartoonLink
#45
Mon Aug 29, 2011 9:48 am
Zekrom & Reshiram
Where is Logan? He's missing out on funny shit!
Logan
#46
Sat Sep 03, 2011 11:53 am
Olimar
I'm back! This is fucking hilarious! Man, you are the best, Coco!
Blue_Kirby
#47
Sat Sep 03, 2011 12:06 pm
Yoshi Egg
LOL i love this you should send it to pokemon HQ and mabe they will reboot the franchise with this plot, keep it up.
Smash
#48
Sat Sep 03, 2011 12:26 pm
Zekrom & Reshiram
I wish people would pay this much attention to my EarthBound Fanfiction -_-
CartoonLink
#49
Sat Sep 03, 2011 12:27 pm
Zekrom & Reshiram
You need to find the proper keys to relate to the material. For instance, have some humor, even if it's lowbrow humor of a stunted script, if it makes people laugh like the original Earthbound on the SNES did, it'll work.
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