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Hydrocannon2727
#101

on Thu Feb 02, 2012 3:30 pm

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Zoroark
Zoroark
I second that motion

CartoonLink
#102

on Sun Feb 12, 2012 3:12 pm

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Chapter 12:

Ash and Misty are about to leave the building when...

Brock: AAUAUUUUGHGHHHHHHHHH, IT HURTS TOO GOOD! ASH, MISTY, TITFACES, HELP!!!
Ash: WTF? I heard Brock.
Misty: Sounds like it's coming from in there.

Ash and Misty burst the door open, and they see Brock getting penetrated through his penis.

Ash: What the fuck...
Misty: How is that even possible??!!
Brock: Please... just do something.
Front Office Gayfag: Sup? Never seen a man get penetrated through his dick before?
Ash: That has to be the most fucked up thing I've ever seen, and I've seen my mom getting assfucked.
Misty: I have no comment.
Brock: Challenge this fag to a battle... please, I'm going to cry.
Ash: Alright, I challenge you to a fight, you gay fag!
Front Office Gayfag: Actually, Gayfag is just one word. My parents originally called me Gaylord, but I preferred Gayfag since I am actually a homosexual.
Ash: Let's fight.
Front Office Gayfag: You seem anally induced to ejaculation, let's battle!
Ash: People get worse with fighting words every time!

BATTLE BEGINS.

Ash used drop kick.
Ash dodged Gayfag's punch and then did a flip and then jump kicked Gayfag right to the nose, and Gayfag goes down.

CRITICAL!

Gayfag: That hurt you cunt monk! Let's fucking go!

Gayfag used slap dat ass.
Gayfag ran at light speed in circles around Ash to confuse him, and then got behind him and slapped his ass.

It's not very effective... infact, it makes you seem gay.
Gayfag: But I am gay!

Ash: You fucking faggot ass.

Ash used quarter back sack.
Ash grabbed a football, and punted the ball into Gayfag's scrotum.

Gayfag: OMFG... uaguh, I- can... not... breathe!

Gayfag surrendered. Ash got $29569.

BATTLE ENDS.

Gayfag: I'm sorry you guys, I'm just a very confused transexual, I'm really a female stuck in a mans body! But with a nice rack and ass and all that. I will grant you one wish for $4000.
Ash: What's the $4000 for?
Gayfag: A sex change.
Ash: Easy, we get tons of money from battles, so here ya go.

Ash handed the Gayfag $4000. -_-"

Gayfag: So, what is your wish?
Ash: Where is the next Dragon Ball?
Gayfag: LOL, one of my nuts is a Dragon Ball, my mother was a tree, while my father was a dragon. Here you go.

Ash got Dragon Ball No. 6

Ash: But wait, I thought you can only get Dragon Balls from gyms?
Gayfag: Actually, Team Rocket Headquarters is a double gym, so yeah... Anyways, are we good?
Ash: Not exactly, where is the next Dragon Ball?
Gayfag: Look for Jessy and James, they should be on top of the headquarters trying to fix the Telephone Communication Deputy Device.
Ash: What is that?
Gayfag: No idea, just go ask them, they will tell you.

Ash, Misty, and Brock walked towards the elevator. Ash pressed ROOF button.
They walked out onto the roof to meet Jessy.

Ash: Hi, where is the next Dragon Ball?
Jessy: Oh, we can tell you that! But on one condition.
Ash: What?
Jessy: You give us that healthy looking Pik-achu.
Ash: No.
Jessy: Fine, no Dragon Ball from my assistant James-
Ash: Where's James!
Jessy: SHIT, JAMES, RUN!

Ash: AFTER HIM!

And the chase was on.

End of chapter.

not the best 1 but it helps, the finale is coming soon

CartoonLink
#103

on Wed Mar 28, 2012 4:05 pm

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Chapter 13:

James was running towards the end of the building. Ash and Misty were chasing them.

Misty: Um... BLUAGH!

Misty puked up a bunch of disgusting puke.

Misty: Ugh, must be dehydrated! I must run to the bathroom, gotta pee! Be right back!
Ash: Um, kay?

Misty runs to the bathroom. Ash corners James.

Ash: You're mine James!
James: Shit fuck. Guess I'm fucked? I've never gotten fucked so hard in my life. Fuck. ZACH-ROM, I FUCKING CHOOSE FUCKING YOU!
Ash: You're going to fuck your Zach-rom?
Jessy: No, he's just mentally deficient and says fuck in every sentence.
James: Jessy, fucking shut the fucking fuck up, you fuck fuck.
Ash: Let's get this battle going!

Ash's Porkegear rings.

Ash: Shit, wait. Hello?
???: HEY ASH!
Ash: Gary Motherfucking Oak? What do you want?
Gary: Ash, I am about to beat the final member of the Elite 4!
Ash: What's the Elite 4?
Gary: Oh Ash, instead of collecting those retarded fantasy Dragon Scrotums from the gyms, I've been collecting badges! I've made it the final battle. You must come watch me in action.
Ash: I will as soon as I finish this battle!
Gary: Alright!
Ash: Sorry, now where were we?

Jessy and James were having sex.

Ash: Fuck! Hurry up.

James went behind Jessy, bent her over, and stuck his self-reported 9.75 inch erection inside of her rectum. He kept going, until he jizzed which took 4 hours.

Ash: Fuck, hurry up!
James: AHH, THAT WAS GREAT!

James pulled his dick out only to see there was feces all over his penis.

James: Jessy, what the fuck! Clean it up!

Jessy grabbed James's cock and shoved it deep into her throat.

James: Just like that! Wait until I jizz again!
Ash: Fuck sakes.
James: Oh man, this'll take awhile, and she sure loves the taste of shit on my dick! Perfect flavour!
Ash: Um, good to know.

Four hours later, she takes her mouth off of his dick, and his dick is shining clean and very veiny.

Ash: This is more disturbing than seeing your mom do it...

James put his clothes on. Misty came back from the bathroom.

Ash: Misty, what took so damn long?!
Misty: I took a piss, drank four gallons of Sunny D and had to piss even more, and passed out, and I woke up five minutes ago.
James: Alright, you look like a bitch, let's battle!
Ash: BRING. IT. ON.

BATTLE BEGINS.

Ash sends out Pik.

Ash: Pik, use AK-47 ATTACK!
Pik: Pikmintendo-achu?

Ash threw Pik an AK-47.
Pik blew the fuck out of Zach-rom.

Zach-rom dies.

BATTLE ENDS.

James: This is how it has to end, Zach-rom... I'm sorry... I'll never forget you.
Ash: Now, the Dragon Ball.
James: Here you go.

Ash RECEIVED DRAGON BALL No. 7.

Ash: YES!
Misty: LET'S USE THEM.

Ash calls out the Dragon from within the balls.

Dragon: What is it, Ashton?
Ash: Can you bring my mom back to life?
Dragon: I cannot Ashton, do you not remember Dr. ChOak telling you that you must defeat the almighty being?
Ash: Now I kinda do...
Dragon: That is because he holds all of my power. You beat him, and your mother will be alive and well.
Ash: OKAY! Wait, there's something missing...
Misty: What?

TO HAVE ASH TALK ABOUT HIS DAILY MASTURBATION IN THE SHOWER, TEXT PORKE MON 1.
TO HAVE MISTY SQUIRT NEXT TIME ASH AND HER BANG, TEXT PORKE MON 2.
TO GIVE BROCK HIS FIRST LINE OF THE CHAPTER, TEXT PORKE MON 3.

THANKS FOR VOTING!

Brock: This is gonna be intense!
Ash: Alright Dragon, take me to the almighty being.
Dragon: Granted.

Ash, Misty, and Brock were warped somewhere familiar.

Ash: I've seen this place on TV...
???: ASH!

End of chapter.

The finale is cumming!

Skochko
#104

on Fri Mar 30, 2012 9:10 am

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Administrator
Administrator
*texts "PORKE MON 3"*
*gets ripped off*

FUK JUU! You did not list the prices for Serbia!


____________________________________
k
CartoonLink
#105

on Fri Mar 30, 2012 9:34 am

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Chapter 14:

Ash: What do you want... Gary Motherfucking Oak?
Gary: Well Ash, you finally found me out. KAAMMMMEEEEEHAWMEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Gary turned into the most foul beast ever...

Misty: What is it?!

Ash took out his PorkeDex.

PorkeDex: Consome Panchi, an extremely rare type of nigger and the most foul beast on this planet.
Ash: Fuck.

Ash took matters into his own hand. He wish for Mosuyuki Hiyama Wondisimo, the knight who once slayed Consome Panchi's ancestors.

Mosuyuki: I am here. WHAT'S GOING ON, CONSOME PANCHI?
Consome Panchi: You fuckers have brought me here. With the power of the Porkemon I will rule all!
Mosuyuki: I slayed you once before, and I'll do it again. Wait, who's this douche coming onto the field?!

Some random guy walks onto the battle field.

???: I am Bzilla "Buzz Killa".
Ash: Why are you called Buzz Killa?
Bzilla: You'll find out soon.
Mosuyuki: ENOUGH! This foul beast must be slayed before it uses this planet as it's vessel to find the cross dimension portal to get to the Mushroom Kingdom!
Brock: I miss my Starmy...
Consome Panchi: You are brave, you jew monger. But not enough. Would you hear my desire? TO TAKE THIS FOUL BLADE AND USE IT TO BLOT OUT THE LIGHT FOREVER!

Epic music starts playing.

Bzilla: Alright, I know now is not the time, but... An invisible man named Max goes to the Doctor's and tell the nurse he has an appointment. The nurse finds the doctor tells him "Doctor, Max is here." The doctor responds with, "Tell him I can't see him right now."
Ash: Wow... that was the worst fucking joke I've ever heard. You are a buzzkill.
Mosuyuki: BRING IT ON, CONSOME PANCHI!

BATTLE BEGINS.

Mosuyuki used Blazing Dynamo.
Mosuyuki revealed the Blade of Tsukuyomi that he once defeated Joey Panchi with. He ran up to Consome Panchi and charged a Skyward Strike and sending it towards Consome Panchi.

It's not very effective.

Consome Panchi: HAHAHA, YOU CALL THAT AN ATTACK? YOU WEAKLING, TASTE THIS!
Bzilla: Wait! Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was a salted.
Ash: Oh my god, you're a bigger buzz kill than Buzz Killington.

Consome Panchi turned the sky into darkness. They could not see him because he is black. He made a tornado and very badly hurt Mosuyuki.

Critical hit!

Mosuyuki was down on the ground, about to die.

Ash: Mosuyuki!!!
Mosuyuki: Ash... I can barely move, take my blade, and fight him off. I got a plan...
Ash: What's your plan?!
Mosuyuki: You... will find out.... soon...

Ash grabbed his blade. Ash used defend.
Ash Crossed his blade infront of his upper body so he cannot get hit.

Consome Panchi used Dragonic Starbeam.
Ash parried and hit it back.

CRITICAL HIT!

Consome Panchi was stunned.

Ash: Now what?!

Mosuyuki grabbed Consome Panchi's tail.

Ash: What will that do?!
Mosuyuki: I did it to his ancestor... it will work, he can't move.
Ash: Alright, here goes! ALPHA OMEGA SUPER OMNI-SLASH!!!

Ash was as fast as light. He stabbed and cut Consome Panchi several times. He landed on the ground.

Ash: I am done. Wha?!

The blade and Mosuyuki disappeared. Consome Panchi blew up.

Misty: Ash!!! You're a hero!

The crowd was cheering.

Bzilla: What do toilets and anniversaries have in common? Men always miss them!
Ash: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

BATTLE ENDS.

Ash took out the Dragon Balls.

Dragon: WHAT IS IT, ASHTON?
Ash: I wish for my mom to be alive again.
Dragon: WISH GRANTED.

Ash's mom was standing there alive.

Ash's Mom: OH, ASH!
Ash: MOM!
Ash's Mom: I have some unfinished business, I will be at home waiting for you!
Ash: Um, okay?
Misty: Now's the best time to tell you...
Ash: What?
Misty: I'm pregnant.

DUN DUN DUN DUNNN.........

Ash and Misty were in the doctor's room getting an ultrasound while Brock was waiting outside.

Nurse Joy: Well, let me rub this cream on you.
Misty: UGHAGH, it's cold.
Ash: Is that...?
Misty: It's our baby... it's beautiful!
Ash: What the fuck is that?
Nurse Joy: It's a black Musharna!
Ash: It's a Porkemon?!
Nurse Joy: All fetus are Porkemon!
Ash: Then why the fuck is it black?!?!
Misty: Um, Ash...
Ash: WHAT!!!
Misty: Me and Brock had sex while I went to the bathroom when you fought James!
Ash: What the fuck?! How is that even possible to be pregnant with his baby like a day later?
Nurse Joy: You idiot, warping you to Gary took three months...
Ash: FUCK!

Ash's PorkeGear rings.

Ash: Hello?
Dr ChOak: Hello Ashton. Your mother is dead again.
Ash: FUCK!!!!!!!!!!

End of series.

Did you guys like it?

TailsCosmoFan25
#106

on Fri Apr 13, 2012 6:42 pm


Yoshi Egg
Yoshi Egg
Damn.

This makes my fanfic look like shit.

Amazing job, CL.

:awesome: :fuck yea:

Linkodude43
#107

on Sat Apr 14, 2012 12:01 am

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Sequel! Sequel! Sequel! Please...

http://www.youtube.com/user/linkodude43
Smash
#108

on Sat Apr 14, 2012 4:28 am

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
I think this convinced me to write the next chapter to the Mother Fanfiction.

http://www.smashteamproductions.webs.com
CartoonLink
#109

on Sat Apr 14, 2012 12:39 pm

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
So, what would everyone rate the entire story?

Smash
#110

on Sat Apr 14, 2012 1:57 pm

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
7/10. It had a valid story and didn't stray from it, but it was far too vulgar and just doesn't have a very original sense of humor. (hypocrite statement) It was good, but not the fresh prince.

http://www.smashteamproductions.webs.com
CartoonLink
#111

on Sat Apr 14, 2012 2:14 pm

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
I wouldn't expect that high of ratings to be honest, it's more like a movie than a game. Games are required to get good ratings to sound good, while movie critics are stupid, giving some of the funniest movies low ratings due to it's vulgar humour. But thanks for the support! Very Happy

Edit: Here is the credits music for it.

And for the second part of the credits:

Credits coming soon!

And I may do a sequel, or something like a DBZ or Mario fanfic of the same genre if more than five of you actually want me too.

Hydrocannon2727
#112

on Sat Apr 14, 2012 2:31 pm

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Zoroark
Zoroark
Rating: 11.5/10 Impressive sir.
Also, I would love a sequel or something of equal value.

Logan
#113

on Fri Dec 07, 2012 9:41 am

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Olimar
Olimar
Sorry for bumping, but I have to rate it. I would have done it a while ago, but like I said, I wasn't able to get on.
That was amazing. I give it a 12/10. This is the only fanfiction that actually made me laugh, unlike the millions of fanfictions that try to be funny and fail at it. I am now going to read the Mario fanfiction. I hope it's as funny.

http://www.happykatana.wordpress.com
CartoonLink
#114

on Fri Dec 07, 2012 10:01 am

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Logan wrote:Sorry for bumping, but I have to rate it. I would have done it a while ago, but like I said, I wasn't able to get on.
That was amazing. I give it a 12/10. This is the only fanfiction that actually made me laugh, unlike the millions of fanfictions that try to be funny and fail at it. I am now going to read the Mario fanfiction. I hope it's as funny.

I guess I've accomplished something, lmao. I wasn't scared to add vulgar humour which was the main reason the fanfiction was so funny, people need to stop being pussies and make some sexy shit happen.

Sponsored content
#115


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