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CartoonLink
#76

on Sun Sep 18, 2011 9:00 am

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
I will be making more, I'm just busy with my personal life right now.

Smash
#77

on Wed Sep 21, 2011 2:41 am

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Can't wait, even though I probably shouldn't be reading it I am.

http://www.smashteamproductions.webs.com
Logan
#78

on Sun Oct 16, 2011 9:14 am

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Olimar
Olimar
So, when's the next chapter?

http://www.happykatana.wordpress.com
Linkodude43
#79

on Sun Oct 16, 2011 10:51 am

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
We want the story back DDDD:

BTW Guys, Mama's still not here, so I decided on every post imma mention a trollface at the bottom :3

*Trollface*

http://www.youtube.com/user/linkodude43
CartoonLink
#80

on Sun Oct 16, 2011 11:26 am

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
New chapter coming soon! Once I stop being lazy, won't be too long though!

Linkodude43
#81

on Sun Oct 16, 2011 2:18 pm

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Yaaaay, I cant wait for moar pickup lines :DDD


BTW, Skoch is gone!
*Trollface*

http://www.youtube.com/user/linkodude43
Smash
#82

on Mon Oct 17, 2011 11:41 am

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Maybe I should continue my EarthBound fanfiction too.

http://www.smashteamproductions.webs.com
CartoonLink
#83

on Tue Nov 01, 2011 2:19 pm

avatar
Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
And I'm back. Chapter 8:

Gym Leader is masturbating.

Gym Leader: Welcome to my humble a-chode!
Ash: Oh, yeah, you know yeah that's- that's just hilarious! It's kinda not cool to make fun of your chode.

Misty whispers to Brock.

Misty: Ash's dick is so big!
Brock: How big is it?
Misty: With a boner, four inches!
Brock: That's a chode...

Gym Leader: I do not own a chode! My penis is extremely huge. Just wait, I'm about to- OOOOOOOHHHH!

Gym Leader has a heart attack.

Ash: What just happened?
Misty: I think the fact that this gym leader has been masturbating for 69 days straight, that he died of starvation!
Ash: How do you know it's exactly 69?
Brock: Hehe, 69.
Misty: Because it says so right on the calender! 69 and counting!

Some black guy comes up.

Blacky: Yo ma fuckuhz, bitch. I awm teh new leader uh' this gym biatchez. I rule awl. This wigger wuz ma homie and said if he dies I can have thu gym!
Ash: Um, okay. I'm your contestant Ash.
Blacky: Yo, white fou'. Befo' this shit goez awn. Can yo' white ass make me sum black mans kool-aid?
Ash: Jeez man, calm down. And fuck no!

Blacky pulls out a gun.

Blacky: Fou', make me sum kool-aid or I'll blow yo' nigguh ass up!
Brock: Here's some Kool-Aid!

Brock hands him some kool-aid.

Ash: Blacky! That wasn't even funny!
Blacky: Your sex mask is unfunny nigger tits.
Ash: Shut up, you racist douche.
Blacky: My ass is in yoru mouthax.
Ash: What the fuck did you just say?
Blacky: Cum on man, les just battle!

BATTLE BEGINS.

Ash sends out Pik-achu.
Blacky sends out Throbbing Erection.

Ash: What the fuck? Anyways, Pik, use punch!

Misty: That's a fucked up Porkemon.
Brock: Correction, that is a Digimon!

Pik runs up toward the erection and punches it in it's hepatitis.
CRITICAL HIT!

Throbbing Erection uses Cunt Thrust.
The Throbbing Erection goes for Pik's anus. It tries to skeet it's manly juices in the ejaculatory sense onto Piks face.

Ash: Quick Pik, DO A BARREL ROLL!

Pik does a barrel roll.
The Throbbing Erection blows out it's load all over Brock's Ranch Dressing Salad.

Brock: Kay wow buddy, I spent a shitload of time preparing that for tonight. Eh, I'll just give it to the church ladies for the next funeral!

Ash: Now Pik, use thunder shock!!!
Pik descends up ontop of Mount Hylia and calls forth the power of Electro, and releases it upon the Throbbing Erection.
IT'S SUPER FUCKING EFFECTIVE!

The Throbbing Erection turned into mush and died.

Blacky: Fuck, I spent a hoe' night clonin' that bastuhd! Hye yo' go fou', the gay ass nigger ball.

BATTLE ENDS.

Ash: Fuck you man, the Dragon Ball isn't for niggers and it's an extremely prize possession!
Blacky: Look niggur, I have no damned idea whut you talkin' bout nigguh. I mean, my white cracker friend The Jackson and me got into an argument about this chick with the big boobiez. What a white cracka she was. Me and her were fuck buddies for atleast two days and then it got to the point where' the hoe gave me a hand job, but no fucka, I wanted tha blaow job! But then she wuz really satisfyin' when I titty fucked her and her titties were BLOOP BLOOP BLOOP everywhere all fffffrrrrbbbblllling in ma face nigguh! And then the fucken Jackson cums alawng and fucken fucks her up the ass! Dumb broad cheated on me! She reminds me of you.
Ash: Well, I don't know what the fuck that has to do with anything, but okay! See ya later.
Blacky: Peace Niggur. That's yow new nick name biatch!

Ash, Misty, and Brock left the gym.

Misty: Great job in there Ash! Time for the next gym.
Ash: RIGHT!

End of chapter 8.

Sorry that I haven't done a chapter in a long time, I really wasn't paying attention to this, and I was extremely lazy, but I finally got around to it. Hope you enjoyed it!



Last edited by Cocotroid on Wed Nov 02, 2011 12:10 pm; edited 1 time in total

Bzilla56
#84

on Wed Nov 02, 2011 10:15 am

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Ice Kirby
Ice Kirby
This is the best fan-fic ever.

Smash
#85

on Thu Nov 03, 2011 5:35 am

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
My favorite chapter so far!


Brock: Kay wow buddy, I spent a shitload of time preparing that for
tonight. Eh, I'll just give it to the church ladies for the next
funeral!

when I read that I was lmfao.

http://www.smashteamproductions.webs.com
CartoonLink
#86

on Sat Nov 19, 2011 11:41 am

avatar
Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Chapter 9:

Ash and friends were walking down the road to the next city, and then suddenly...

Ash: What the fuck is this?
Brock: I think it's a Snorlax.
Misty: He's fat! Tee hee.

A SLEEPING PORKEMON BLOCKS THE WAY.

Blacky comes running up.

Blacky: Yo my nigletz! Fou' this fucken Prokmen won't gtfo with awout a Porke Flute! Yo nigguh ass can get won frum fightin' that crackuh ova there. C'ya later ma homiez.

Blacky ran away.

Ash: I really can't understand him...

Ash walked up to the trainer.

Ash: Hey, can I get that Porke Flute off of you?

Ash walked infront of him.

Trainer: Your virginity is around here! Let's battle!
Ash: Wait, what did you say about my virginity?
Trainer: You're violating the terms of a trainer battle, let's battle!
Ash: NO! Not until you tell me what the hell you just said.
Trainer: If you delay the battle, I'm gonna have to call Officer Jenny on you!
Brock: OH MY GOSH, OFFICER JENNY. MY PENIS IS OUTTA CONTROL!!!

Brock falls on the ground and starts spazzing out.

Ash: What did you mean my virginity is around here?
Trainer: Look fool, my psychic Porkemon told me that red headed nympho chick holds your virginity. Let's battle!
Ash: Just wait...
Trainer: No waiting! Let's battle!
Ash: Fuck sakes, fine!

BATTLE BEGINS.

Ash sent out Pik-achu.
Trainer sent out Charmew.

Ash: Alrighty Pik, hit him with a slash!
Pik enlarges it's claws to triple their original size, runs up and engraves it's name into Charmew's anus.
CRITICAL!

Trainer: Alright Charmew, hit him with a defense curl!
Charmew enhances it's defense.

Ash: What a pussy move!

Three hours later.

Ash: One more hit... and your fucking Charmew is dead!
Trainer: Alright Charmew, return! I send out Charmew but with a nickname, Charmoo!
Ash: OH, COME ON!!!

Three hours later.

Ash: Hehe, no more wimping outta this one bitch!
Trainer: Alright Charmoo, return! I send out Charmew but with a nickname, Zenalubo!
Ash: WHAT THE FAWK!!!!

Three hours later.

Ash: You better not be a pussy and pull him again, you haven't even attacked me once, you just keep enhancing their defense!
Trainer: Alright Zenalubo, return! I sent out Charmew but with a nickname, Richy!
Ash: Sigh.

Ash chooses run from the battle.
CANNOT RUN FROM A TRAINER BATTLE.

Ash: WOW, WHAT A FATAL FUCKING FLAW!

Three hours later.

Ash: About... fucking time.
Trainer: Alright Richy, return! I sent out Charmew but with a nickname, Orlando!
Ash: WHAT!!!

Three hours later.

Ash: HAHA! That's your last Porkemon and you can't escape now!
Trainer: I have one Max Potion To All, so haha, jokes on you!

Trainer uses Max Potion to All.
Charmew's health is fully restored.
Charmoo's health is fully restored.
Zenalubo's health is fully restored.
Richy's health is fully restored.
Orlando's health is fully restored.

Ash: WHAT THE FUCKING HELL, DAMN FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT FUCKING HACKER!

Meanwhile Brock is laying on the ground masturbating to a picture of Officer Jenny.
Misty is rubbing her vag with her whole hand as fast as she can because this is the time her and Ash usually engage in sexual intercourse.

Fifteen hours later.

Ash: HAHA! You have no items left, and all of your Porkemon are almost dead.
Trainer: Shit, I thought you wouldn't have made it this far.

Five minutes later.

Trainer: FUCK, you beat me! Here you go, $285925932 and a Porke Flute.
Ash: FINALLY!

BATTLE ENDS.

Ash: Misty, me so hawrny, let's go fuck!
Brock: Can I jump in this time?
Ash: No! What are you gay?! Just go ask Officer Jenny if you can buy her a drink and try and hit it off!
Brock: Okay.

Ash and Misty set up tent, and then kept fucking, and Brock went to find Officer Jenny.

Brock: Hey, uh, Officer Jenny, I feel terrible about the way I was. You see, I was drugged and it caused me to completely turn into something I was not. So, is it possible to buy you a drink?
Officer Jenny: Fine, alright. But you have to promise you won't say those nasty things to me!
Brock: Alright!

They went to a bar.

Brock: I'll go get us some drinks, what do you want?
Officer Jenny: Vodka and Orange Juice please!
Brock: Alrighty!

Brock went and got it, and then laughed, and then came back.

Brock: Here you go!
Officer Jenny: What was so funny?
Brock: Oh, uh, you had to be there to know what was so funny! Just one of the moments where you had to be there and experience the action, you know?
Officer Jenny: Alright.

The drank their drinks.

Officer Jenny: Hoooly fuck Brock I never realized you wur so hawt... you wanna fuck at my place?
Brock: Fuck yes I do.

They went to her place. They banged, Brock lost his virginity, and they kept banging, and now this.

Officer Jenny: OH, YES YES YES!!! AWAWH!
Brock: I have something to tell you.
Officer Jenny: Yesss my sweet sexy horny big cocked love?
Brock: I put the date rape drug in your drink.
Officer Jenny: Who cares, I'm finally getting laid!
Brock: You've never gotten laid?
Officer Jenny: Nope, I got small tits... ahahhaa, OH, I just came.
Brock: Me too. Hahahhaa!

Officer Jenny passed out. Brock was proud of himself. He walked back to the tent.

Brock: You guys, I got laid! Um, guys?
Ash: Hold on, we're almost done!
Brock: Guy's, I've been gone for 11 hours!
Ash: We know!

Four hours later.

Ash: We're done!
Brock: About time! I fucked Jenny.
Misty: Woah, really?!
Brock: Yeah, I put rufees in her drink.
Ash: LOL! Okay, well let's get a move on.

Ash played the Porke Flute to the fat ass Snorlax.
Snorlax awoke and flew away.

Ash: LET'S GO!

End of chapter 9.

Was it any good?

Linkodude43
#87

on Sat Nov 19, 2011 11:58 am

avatar
Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Cocotroid wrote:Chapter 9:

Ash and friends were walking down the road to the next city, and then suddenly...

Ash: What the fuck is this?
Brock: I think it's a Snorlax.
Misty: He's fat! Tee hee.

A SLEEPING PORKEMON BLOCKS THE WAY.

Blacky comes running up.

Blacky: Yo my nigletz! Fou' this fucken Prokmen won't gtfo with awout a Porke Flute! Yo nigguh ass can get won frum fightin' that crackuh ova there. C'ya later ma homiez.

Blacky ran away.

Ash: I really can't understand him...

Ash walked up to the trainer.

Ash: Hey, can I get that Porke Flute off of you?

Ash walked infront of him.

Trainer: Your virginity is around here! Let's battle!
Ash: Wait, what did you say about my virginity?
Trainer: You're violating the terms of a trainer battle, let's battle!
Ash: NO! Not until you tell me what the hell you just said.
Trainer: If you delay the battle, I'm gonna have to call Officer Jenny on you!
Brock: OH MY GOSH, OFFICER JENNY. MY PENIS IS OUTTA CONTROL!!!

Brock falls on the ground and starts spazzing out.

Ash: What did you mean my virginity is around here?
Trainer: Look fool, my psychic Porkemon told me that red headed nympho chick holds your virginity. Let's battle!
Ash: Just wait...
Trainer: No waiting! Let's battle!
Ash: Fuck sakes, fine!

BATTLE BEGINS.

Ash sent out Pik-achu.
Trainer sent out Charmew.

Ash: Alrighty Pik, hit him with a slash!
Pik enlarges it's claws to triple their original size, runs up and engraves it's name into Charmew's anus.
CRITICAL!

Trainer: Alright Charmew, hit him with a defense curl!
Charmew enhances it's defense.

Ash: What a pussy move!

Three hours later.

Ash: One more hit... and your fucking Charmew is dead!
Trainer: Alright Charmew, return! I send out Charmew but with a nickname, Charmoo!
Ash: OH, COME ON!!!

Three hours later.

Ash: Hehe, no more wimping outta this one bitch!
Trainer: Alright Charmoo, return! I send out Charmew but with a nickname, Zenalubo!
Ash: WHAT THE FAWK!!!!

Three hours later.

Ash: You better not be a pussy and pull him again, you haven't even attacked me once, you just keep enhancing their defense!
Trainer: Alright Zenalubo, return! I sent out Charmew but with a nickname, Richy!
Ash: Sigh.

Ash chooses run from the battle.
CANNOT RUN FROM A TRAINER BATTLE.

Ash: WOW, WHAT A FATAL FUCKING FLAW!

Three hours later.

Ash: About... fucking time.
Trainer: Alright Richy, return! I sent out Charmew but with a nickname, Orlando!
Ash: WHAT!!!

Three hours later.

Ash: HAHA! That's your last Porkemon and you can't escape now!
Trainer: I have one Max Potion To All, so haha, jokes on you!

Trainer uses Max Potion to All.
Charmew's health is fully restored.
Charmoo's health is fully restored.
Zenalubo's health is fully restored.
Richy's health is fully restored.
Orlando's health is fully restored.

Ash: WHAT THE FUCKING HELL, DAMN FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT FUCKING HACKER!

Meanwhile Brock is laying on the ground masturbating to a picture of Officer Jenny.
Misty is rubbing her vag with her whole hand as fast as she can because this is the time her and Ash usually engage in sexual intercourse.

Fifteen hours later.

Ash: HAHA! You have no items left, and all of your Porkemon are almost dead.
Trainer: Shit, I thought you wouldn't have made it this far.

Five minutes later.

Trainer: FUCK, you beat me! Here you go, $285925932 and a Porke Flute.
Ash: FINALLY!

BATTLE ENDS.





That whole excerpt is a complete copy of the most recent Pokemon Smosh video V_V

http://www.youtube.com/user/linkodude43
CartoonLink
#88

on Sat Nov 19, 2011 12:28 pm

avatar
Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
linkodude43 wrote:
Cocotroid wrote:Chapter 9:

Ash and friends were walking down the road to the next city, and then suddenly...

Ash: What the fuck is this?
Brock: I think it's a Snorlax.
Misty: He's fat! Tee hee.

A SLEEPING PORKEMON BLOCKS THE WAY.

Blacky comes running up.

Blacky: Yo my nigletz! Fou' this fucken Prokmen won't gtfo with awout a Porke Flute! Yo nigguh ass can get won frum fightin' that crackuh ova there. C'ya later ma homiez.

Blacky ran away.

Ash: I really can't understand him...

Ash walked up to the trainer.

Ash: Hey, can I get that Porke Flute off of you?

Ash walked infront of him.

Trainer: Your virginity is around here! Let's battle!
Ash: Wait, what did you say about my virginity?
Trainer: You're violating the terms of a trainer battle, let's battle!
Ash: NO! Not until you tell me what the hell you just said.
Trainer: If you delay the battle, I'm gonna have to call Officer Jenny on you!
Brock: OH MY GOSH, OFFICER JENNY. MY PENIS IS OUTTA CONTROL!!!

Brock falls on the ground and starts spazzing out.

Ash: What did you mean my virginity is around here?
Trainer: Look fool, my psychic Porkemon told me that red headed nympho chick holds your virginity. Let's battle!
Ash: Just wait...
Trainer: No waiting! Let's battle!
Ash: Fuck sakes, fine!

BATTLE BEGINS.

Ash sent out Pik-achu.
Trainer sent out Charmew.

Ash: Alrighty Pik, hit him with a slash!
Pik enlarges it's claws to triple their original size, runs up and engraves it's name into Charmew's anus.
CRITICAL!

Trainer: Alright Charmew, hit him with a defense curl!
Charmew enhances it's defense.

Ash: What a pussy move!

Three hours later.

Ash: One more hit... and your fucking Charmew is dead!
Trainer: Alright Charmew, return! I send out Charmew but with a nickname, Charmoo!
Ash: OH, COME ON!!!

Three hours later.

Ash: Hehe, no more wimping outta this one bitch!
Trainer: Alright Charmoo, return! I send out Charmew but with a nickname, Zenalubo!
Ash: WHAT THE FAWK!!!!

Three hours later.

Ash: You better not be a pussy and pull him again, you haven't even attacked me once, you just keep enhancing their defense!
Trainer: Alright Zenalubo, return! I sent out Charmew but with a nickname, Richy!
Ash: Sigh.

Ash chooses run from the battle.
CANNOT RUN FROM A TRAINER BATTLE.

Ash: WOW, WHAT A FATAL FUCKING FLAW!

Three hours later.

Ash: About... fucking time.
Trainer: Alright Richy, return! I sent out Charmew but with a nickname, Orlando!
Ash: WHAT!!!

Three hours later.

Ash: HAHA! That's your last Porkemon and you can't escape now!
Trainer: I have one Max Potion To All, so haha, jokes on you!

Trainer uses Max Potion to All.
Charmew's health is fully restored.
Charmoo's health is fully restored.
Zenalubo's health is fully restored.
Richy's health is fully restored.
Orlando's health is fully restored.

Ash: WHAT THE FUCKING HELL, DAMN FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT FUCKING HACKER!

Meanwhile Brock is laying on the ground masturbating to a picture of Officer Jenny.
Misty is rubbing her vag with her whole hand as fast as she can because this is the time her and Ash usually engage in sexual intercourse.

Fifteen hours later.

Ash: HAHA! You have no items left, and all of your Porkemon are almost dead.
Trainer: Shit, I thought you wouldn't have made it this far.

Five minutes later.

Trainer: FUCK, you beat me! Here you go, $285925932 and a Porke Flute.
Ash: FINALLY!

BATTLE ENDS.





That whole excerpt is a complete copy of the most recent Pokemon Smosh video V_V

Pretty much, I wanted to do something that would kill sometime, and a lot of my stuff is similar to Smosh lol. But I didn't make it the exact same, and I tried to do other stuff in it aswell.

Skochko
#89

on Sat Nov 19, 2011 12:51 pm

avatar
Administrator
Administrator
Criticism!

1. Charmew reference is epic, although, after the battle, the story needed a "why?!! WHY>!?!" moment.
2. It would be rather obvious to see if Jenny is a virgin during the sexual intercourse, so idk if you tried to prove Brock's stupidy or it was just your mistake.
3. A Snorlax could eat them all alive. He wouldn't just "flee".
4. Where the fuck did the Dragonballs disappear?
5. <3


____________________________________
k
Logan
#90

on Sun Nov 27, 2011 2:50 pm

avatar
Olimar
Olimar
I want some more, man!

http://www.happykatana.wordpress.com
Hydrocannon2727
#91

on Sun Nov 27, 2011 3:07 pm

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Zoroark
Zoroark
That almost made me cry bro, bravo.

CartoonLink
#92

on Tue Nov 29, 2011 11:30 am

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Hydrocannon2727 wrote:That almost made me cry bro, bravo.

You were laughing that hard that you almost cried?

Linkodude43
#93

on Tue Nov 29, 2011 11:41 am

avatar
Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
But Hyrdo, you DO realise the first half was a complete copy of a Smosh video

http://www.youtube.com/user/linkodude43
Hydrocannon2727
#94

on Tue Nov 29, 2011 11:56 am

avatar
Zoroark
Zoroark
Yes, I do, but it still made me laugh, nonetheless.

Smash
#95

on Tue Nov 29, 2011 4:05 pm

avatar
Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
OK! Now to continue my EarthBound one.

http://www.smashteamproductions.webs.com
CartoonLink
#96

on Wed Dec 07, 2011 11:43 am

avatar
Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Chapter 10:

Snorlax was flying with Whorelax because they make a romantic couple. They landed on top of mount Porkonia.

Snorlax: Shawty, get me some food.
Whorelax: Get off your fat fucking ass and make some!
Snorlax: Want me to hurt you?
Whorelax: With your penis inside my vagina, yes.

Snorlax's erection dropped out from his stomach.
Whorelax's vagina hole opened.

Snorlax laid on the ground, and Whorelax started bouncing on him.
Snorlax's face looked as if it resembled an internet phenomenon. TROLLOLOL!
Whorelax's vagina started creating fluids, making her vagina very nice and lubricated.

Snorlax: *Gasp* THIS... IS... AMAZING!!! *Gasp*
Whorelax: I'm ABOUT TO GOOO!!!

Whorelax orgasmed, but the thing is, her vagina was so lubricated and slippery, that she squirted and flew off of Snorlax into the distance.

Snorlax: Fuck sakes, I didn't finish, and I'm too fat to masturbate!

Meanwhile, Ash and friends made their way to the next gym.

Ash: So Brock, Officer Jenny was a virgin?
Brock: Fuck yeah! I hold her virginity, and she holds mine!
Misty: Brock, how long did you guys last?
Brock: Many hours!
Misty: HAHA! She wasn't a virgin then...
Brock: How so?
Misty: Because you can tell if a girl is a virgin, her hymen busts and it bleeds and it gets all over your penis... was there blood on your dick?
Brock: Nope!
Misty: And if she lasted that long... then yeah, she's not a virgin.
Brock: Well, we did many things!
Ash: What exactly did you do?
Brock: She sucked my dick, I deep-throated her, and then I licked that pussy up, but I put a grape dental dam infront of it. I then stuck my dick in her vagina, and she was wearing a female condom, and then she took it out, then I used a guy condom, and it was banana flavoured! Then I took my dick out and she sucked me off, and then we pussy-slash-cock fucked for a long time!
Ash: Umm, what the fuck?!
Brock: Safety first, you never want to get a chick pregnant! Because when that happens, you'll have to marry the girl, and when you marry her, she moves in with you, and then your best friend also known as your roommate Billy will have to move out, and then that one day you will be so gloriously wondering what awesome things Billy is doing to that day.
Ash: I really don't understand you, anyways here we are.

There was a puzzle on the door, it wouldn't open. It would not budge, Ash ran into the tall grass and found a sign. It read: Dumbasses, look to the north star and grant it power of the gods and you will find the way.

Ash: That's a very difficult puzzle, what on earth could it mean?
Misty: That's a tough one!

Ash and Misty took several hours debating on what the sign could mean, and even got into an argument about how much a hockey puck weighs.

Ash: No, no, NO! A puck can't be more than five pounds! If it was over five pounds, it would be hard as shit to shoot with a hockey stick!
Misty: Well, gosh! I don't play sports, I didn't fucking know!

Brock walks over.

Brock: You guys done yet? There's a diamond hanging down on the ceiling above the door!
Ash: Wow, north star... grant the power of the gods...? I GOT IT!

Ash sent out Pik-achu.

Ash: Alright Pik, send a bolt of thunder towards the diamond star!
Pik: Pik-a?
Ash: JUST DO IT!!!

Pik-achu did that.
The door opened.

Ash: Great thinking Pik!
Brock: Yeah, Pik! Great thinking!
Misty: You guys are retarded.

They walked in.

Gym Leader: Hello my good friends. I am the gym leader, Cornelius, as in Jared 'Cornelius' Porchea Derek Jackson James Lucas Wellingtonworth. May I interest you in some lima beans?
Ash: Um, no... I'm here for the Dragon Ball!
Gym Leader: Ha ha ha! I don't battle by the way, I ask questions. If you get three of the five correct, you will win the Dragon Ball.
Ash: Alright! Ask away!
Gym Leader: Alright, question number one. If a virgin has sex with a nonvirgin, does that make the nonvirgin a virgin again?
Ash: No... that just makes the nonvirgin a holder of the virgin's virginity.
Gym Leader: Correct! Question number two. If Kim who is half as old as Bobby, who's two years older than twelve year old Tori, for howmany more months will their threesomes be considered statutory rape?
Ash: 108.
Gym Leader: Correct! Question number three. A famous man once said: "All things appear and disappear because of the occurence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone, everything is in relation to everything else." Who was the man who said this?
Ash: Umm... what?
Gym Leader: WRONG! One strike!
Ash: Fuck sakes.
Gym Leader: Question number four. How many teeth does a white cat have?
Ash: Um, I have no idea!
Gym Leader: WRONG! Two strikes! How come you know so much about a black cock, but not a white pussy? Anyways-
Ash: What does this have to do with a black rooster?!
Gym Leader: Let me finish, if you don't get this next question correct, no Dragon Ball for you.
Ash: Alright, hit me.
Gym Leader: Do I have a penis or a vagina?
Ash: You're a guy, you have a penis.
Gym Leader: That is correct! Here is the Dragon Ball, and $69236.
Ash: YEAH!

Ash and friends left the gym, where will their journey take them next? Find out in the next chapter of Porkemon!

End of chapter.

Smash
#97

on Wed Dec 07, 2011 12:55 pm

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Lol, he only knew the sexual questions.

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Skochko
#98

on Wed Dec 07, 2011 9:51 pm

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Administrator
Administrator
You're welcome.


____________________________________
k
CartoonLink
#99

on Sat Jan 28, 2012 5:29 pm

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Chapter 11:

Ash, Brock, and Misty were attending sex ed class.

Teacher: OKAY KIDS, SO CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHAT THE AVERAGE PENIS SIZE IS FOR A TWELVE YEAR OLD MALE WHEN ERECT?
Misty: Five inches!
Teacher: THAT IS CORRECT, MISTY. HERE YOU GO, ONE FREE CONDOM.
Misty: I don't believe in condoms.
Teacher: WHY NOT?
Misty: Because not only do they fail 100 percent of the time, but they can get so tight around your boyfriends girthy little penis and can make it pop off.
Teacher: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Misty: My ex, he holds my virginity. We had sex about ten times, not as much as me and Ash-
Class: OOOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOOOoooooooooo!
Ash: Shut up, niggers.
Misty: So, the last time we did it, someone mixed marijuana juice inside my beer, and that fucked-
Teacher: LANGUAGE MA'AM! I'M GONNA HAVE TO GIVE YOU A NAME AND A CHECK, SO YOU HAVE A FIFTEEN MINUTE DETENTION!
Ash: That's fucking stupid!
Teacher: SAME TO YOU, YOUNG SIR.
Misty: Anyways, he used a condom, like every other time, and then after we were done his face turned purple and his penis popped off.
Teacher: HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED YOU WERE HALLUCINATING, BECAUSE YOU WERE HIGH?
Misty: No... I fell asleep and forgot I was high, LOL!!!
Teacher: ANYWAYS, KIDS, I WILL TEACH YOU ABOUT CONDOMS. CAN WE HAVE A VOLUNTEER?

Brock puts his hand up.

Teacher: COME UP HERE, BROCK!
Brock: Kaykay.
Teacher: SO, DEMONSTRATE HOW TO PUT A CONDOM ON.
Brock: What do I use?
Teacher: YOU'RE THE CLASS CLOWN, SO YOUR PENIS. HAHA!
Brock: This is the first time I've been here...
Teacher: TOO BAD!

Brock pulls down his pants, and the class starts laughing.

Guy 1: HAHAHA! I WAS THAT SMALL WHEN I WAS TEN!
Brock: Fuck you! I-
Guy 2: Oh, you'd like that! But thing is, would he feel ya?!
Class: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Teacher: CLASS, ENOUGH! HIS PENIS IS AVERAGE SIZE FOR THE AVERAGE CHINK.
Brock: Yeah, ya dumb ass white boys.
Teacher: LANGUAGE! YOU GET A DETENTION TOO!
Brock: Sigh... fine.
Teacher: NOW PUT THIS CONDOM ON.

Brock puts on the condom.

Teacher: CONDOMS ARE LIKE APPETIZERS, AFTER YA USE 'EM, THEY MAKE THE PENIS FLAVORED.
Class: OOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOO!!!
Misty: ME GUSTA!

Brock let a rip.

Teacher: THAT IS ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING! AND YOUR PUNISHMENT IS TO CUNT THRUST ME.
Brock: What?!
Class: OOOOOOOOooooooo AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Teacher: I TEACH THIS CLASS, AND I MANIPULATE ONE STUDENT EVERY CLASS JUST TO GET SOME TIGHT LITTLE BOY DINKS IN MA ANUS.
Brock: You're fucking fifty, I don't wanna fuck a gilf!
Teacher: SECURITY!

Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan come and guard the window and door.

Teacher: NOW, YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO BANG ME, AND YOU SHALL NOT PASS THE DOOR UNTIL YOU DO SO, AND THE REST OF THE CLASS MUST WATCH.
Class: EWW!
Ash: What... the... fuck?

Brock inserts his cock into the gilf's rectum, and after ten minutes, she shit squirted.

Brock goes flying into the wall with shit / jizz all over him.

Brock: UAGLH, WHAT THE FAWWWK!
Teacher: AHH, THE OL' ANNUAL SHIT SQUIRT! HAVEN'T HAD ONE IN AGES!
Ash and Misty: I cannot believe what I just saw.

Half the class is petrified from the horror of seeing a granny getting analed infront of them.

Ash: Fuck this, I'm going to go get the next Dragon Ball.
Jackie Chan: HOYA! Yo' durg, I ram hrere to rannounce dat Ire havre the nexsht Drrrragon Barl. Yur musht find mre at tre top orf tre Team Rocket Headquarters. Frind me dere.
Ash: DEAL!

Ash, Misty, and Brock left the school, and went walking towards Team Rocket Headquarters. They walked inside.

Front Office Lady: Hello! How may I help you today?
Ash: Sup? Listen, we-
Brock: ASH, I'll handle this! Sup babe? So me and my homies are tryna get to the top of this building to get to Jackie Chan and get the Dragon Ball, here's $400... Now, let's go to the back and finish the job while they go get the ball, hehehe.
Front Office Lady: Alright, come with me!

Brock and the lady went in the back room.
Ash and Misty went in the elevator, and clicked the button that said "DO NOT TOUCH".

Misty: Ash, what're you doing?!
Ash: Misty, it's where the top is. Every big company elevator has a button that says that that takes you to the secret layer.
Misty: Good thinking!

Meanwhile, Brock and the lady were in the back room.
Brock strips.

Brock: Fuck yeah baby, I am SO READY! Let's do this!
Front Office Lady: Alright sexy.

The lady takes off her shirt, perfect breasts.
Brock has a boner now.

Brock: KEEP IT COMING!
Front Office Lady: Close your eyes, and I'll tell ya when to open.
Brock: Alright!

Brock closes his eyes.
The lady takes off her pants, and turns out to have a penis. She inserted her penis inside Brock's penis.

Brock: AOWOAIOHYISEUHJ, WHAT THE FAAACK!
Front Office Gayfag: Hahaha, I'm a transvestite, so not only am I penetrating you through your penis, but you are paralyzed until I am done!

Meanwhile, Ash and Misty make it to the top and fine Jackie Chan.

Jackie Chan: Wercome! Sho anerays, Ire wirr give you tre Drrrragon Barr, if yur can girve me $2 Porke Dorrars!
Ash: Deal!

Ash obtained the fifth Dragon Ball.

Ash: TWO TO GO!

End of chapter 11.

How was it?

Smash
#100

on Sat Jan 28, 2012 7:33 pm

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
WOAH! TRANSVESTITE! BACK OFF!

Wait, pre-op or post-op?

Gayfag: Pre-op.

WOAH! TRANSVESTITE! BACK OFF!
-Glenn Quagmire

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