Alright hey guys. You all know me as a troll such and such. Pissing off people over the internet, making them laugh etc etc, doing retarded things. However I've seen most of you guys completely FAIL at trolling. And it's almost all the ones that attempt to and have had NO experience what so ever. Well, I'm going to post a mediocre, (hence I'm not really a good troll, people on 4chan are great trolls, however I am not due to because I'm not as experienced and whatever the hell I do isn't as funny as what they do. If you want to be a "good" troller, I recommend you listen to this guide then take a step further to 4chan, but I must warn you, it's the internet) easy troll guide for those who want to learn.

Alright. Here's how it goes.

Trolling isn't something you can just master in a day, it's something you have to be good at.

Examples of "not" good trollings are what most of you "trolls" thing is considered trolling. For example, and I'm not doing this to mean, I'm just helping you guys because you might run into a problem one day.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100907110739AADaR5U

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100906183500AAROY5e

And practically the rest posted on the site. I'll give you some goods and some bads. Alright first link, where Zman "trolled". I'm sorry but I didn't see anything as troll-lulzworthy on there. The fact that penusaur and "jizzmonkey" have been already laughed at in life, it's not that great. The second link is the same. Overusing XD was my thing, because I hated how the animefags/weeaboos just repetitively raped that. It's a joke, not something you do 30 times in a trolling session. The only thing funny I did see in YPrince's comment was the word "pance" only because rarely anybody uses it and because it's pretty lulzy to poop your pance. idk. HOWEVER, THIS DOES NOT MEAN CHANGING THE SPELLING OF A WORD WILL BE FUNNY. GOING "U ARE STOOPED" IS NOT FUNNY. NEVER WILL BE. Alright aside from that you guys need to learn a few rules.

1) NO emotion, at all. Don't show emotion on the internet, if you're a troll, you don't show emotion.
2) Neutral in any decision, or completely against a decision if it's only one-sided. For example, if you see a DBZfag arguing to a narutard, you stay neutral. However if you see a Narutard bitching on how Naruto is cool and shit, that's when it's one-sided and you are completely AGAINST it.
3) If you say random sexual terms just to make it sound funny, then you should rather be a fail horny comedian, rather than a troll. Most trolls don't go around posting the word penis more than 3 times in there paragraphs, unless its a SHITLOAD. Post things with funnier diction such as weiner or something stupid. and the occasional dick because it's funny too.
4) You should not curse at all if you are in an argument. You just tell the other person that he is either "raeging" "butthurt" or a "internet tough guy" (in circumstances where the guy claims to "kick you ass")
5) You MUST have a troll account. You have to be a shitload stupid to go on with a real account and troll somewhere. I've seen both Zman and Gman go on pokemoncardmaker with their real accounts and so you jeopardize any real "trolling" you could do on there, such as backing-up a troll when you are the troll. Stuff like that
6) When you notice the victim sparks an emotion, you go further. Don't stop and repeat the same thing, say something intellectual like "You only post XD to hide real emotions of yourself because you can't furthermore admit that my dick is literally in your earhole" IDK, I'm not a good troll, but it's not something like "HAHAH, YOU FUCKING CRIED YOU PUSSY ASS NIGGA BITCH". No, you just killed it and just gave the other guy an advantage.
7) Be original and creative. When I mean original I mean an old meme that people don't really use or know. Such as Chad Warden, nobody knew about him, well a FEW percentile knew but not a lot. Someone like "IHERDULIEKMUDKPZIS" is not funny, and thus you must have a Gameboy shoved into your asshole because nobody LIEKZ mudkips. Plus, we're in the 5th gen, not fucking 3rd. MrZema, is actually a GREAT example of a original yet creative. We lol'd at Mr.Zema's picture because he looked funny. Gman made him into a believable troll inside-meme.
8.) If you're going to post something, make sure it's actually funny and not some guys spazzing because his penis fell off or something. Something so ridiculous that no one would think of. Examples below


THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE IS THAT YOU CAN'T JUST "BECOME A TROLL". IT'S NOT POSSIBLE...AT ALL. AND ANOTHER THING, WHEN YOU TROLL, YOU DON'T ASK "DID I TROLL GOOD?". No, Idk if you trolled good. Do you think you trolled good? It's your opinion, not mine. However, when it gets out of hand and not funny, then I will barge in and go 'NOT FUNNY'.

Troll works that are good and not as obvious as most are, are these (yes I know they're all mine, but hey, it's a step further than what you guys are doing)

http://ph.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100904174827AAU2IdM

In this one, people actually took it seriously. In other ones, you might here a "that's stupid" or something. IDK, if a troll came up to mine and read it, they wouldn't know (IF the OH NOS and the Chaan with the derp icon wasn't there)

http://www.zeldauniverse.net/forums/zelda-theorizing/112467-super-mario-galaxy-and-link-crossover.html

This is a semi-good example. Except I was a bit too obvious. However it does fit the rules above.

yeah more trollin

Red Yoshi X wrote:yeah more trollin

Obviously you didn't read this. RedYoshiX spamming the topics with random words won't get you anywhere. I've already deleted your double posts and you've gained like 50 useless posts. The OBJECTIVE of a post is to keep the convo going.

This is your WARNING.

I just learned something. And it isnt boring. Like school crap.

So your saying make a chatango account thats troll like?

Crankykong99 wrote:So your saying make a chatango account thats troll like?

TBY meant if you are gonna troll anywhere, use an alternate account. Like my account FrostyTheNiggur.

lol I got an idea for mine already. Hottytheniggur (rhymes)

Crankykong99 wrote:lol I got an idea for mine already. Hottytheniggur (rhymes)

No, you see, you already killed Zman's meme.

Or act like an innocent person. Don't go to a Star Trek forum saying it sucks. Instead, go to some forum, act like you support something controversial, like abortion, even if you don't, back it up with evidence, and never flame anyone. However, if you actually support abortion, than it's not trolling. Or say why you don't believe in a certain religion, but be respectful and don't call it bullshit. You'll still get a bunch of hate.

Here is an example of a troll on Yahoo Answers:

PLEASE SOMEONE HELP I AM SCARED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

hey guys i am dating this chick! and she is really amazingly hot so we were out at a party having fun and then we went to her house and we both were really drunk so we were making out and then we started banging and it felt good! but i didn't wear protection and her father walked in and literally had to pull me off of her because it felt so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so i went to jail for three days and then she tells me she had genital herpes what do i do guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I found it funny.

PLZ HELP HOW DO I PLEH!

hey guys i have a problem.......... its inbarrasing to tell you ppl but i need help! i jerk off every night from 12 am to 4 am and i think its getting to be a problem i started doing it july 6 and it wont stop im scared! my mom walked in on me and i cried i was so inbarrasedd then we had long talk and then she wants me to see a therapist who asks me about penises and vaginas and when a penis and vagina intercourse!!!!!!! please help what do i do? is this a punishment for slapping my grandma for not buying me Pokemon Heartgold?

I did two similar trolls like that on Yahoo, but I rewrote them funnier, and I will be posting them on Yahoo Answers soon.
I have a little thing to say to beginner trolls. Do something that you know will get a good reaction, and make you laugh at the same time, because I do trolls similar to the ones above all of the time, but I have done much better trolls. TBY, troll tonight?

EDIT: Kay, I did go a little overboard when I reread it, but if it manages to get a good reaction and a good laugh, then that's partly a good troll. But you see, that was an obvious troll, try and make a mixture of obvious, and nonobvious, it makes life fun.

The first one isn't a troll. It's another overused fail troll. Herpes is old. Use something like Crabs or something. The second troll was going good until you started going graphic. "who asks me about penises and vaginas and when a penis and vagina intercourse!!!!!!!" That right there ruined the troll. If you're out there to amuse 10 year olds, post this. If you're out there to amuse teenagers and older, don't post graphic stuff. Otherwise you would have completed the second troll successfully, but it kind of got ruined.

TheBlueYoshi wrote:The first one isn't a troll. It's another overused fail troll. Herpes is old. Use something like Crabs or something. The second troll was going good until you started going graphic. "who asks me about penises and vaginas and when a penis and vagina intercourse!!!!!!!" That right there ruined the troll. If you're out there to amuse 10 year olds, post this. If you're out there to amuse teenagers and older, don't post graphic stuff. Otherwise you would have completed the second troll successfully, but it kind of got ruined.

Actually, it works great for Anonymous, and they're the kings of trolling. Also, it will piss people off, so even if it's stupid, it's still successful in the end.

Not really. People will just see you as retarded/obvious as a troll, they won't get pissed off the least bit. A post like that doesn't spark the reader's anger, it sparks his humor or in this case, common sense. Plus, the Anonymous people, or should I say 4chan, don't go around posting the same overused shit. None of them say they have Herpes anymore or that they "f-ed" a girl and got caught then later got it as a "joke". It's newfaggotry, you wouldn't know because you don't troll either, or even go on 4chan.

Plus, you shouldn't even be giving advice about trolling Hardcore. Last time I checked, you would go on random cursing sprees and last time I checked, you have never actually "trolled".

Screw trolling if no one enjoys it. > I am now a new person. Tip on trolling: Have fun.

TheBlueYoshi wrote:Not really. People will just see you as retarded/obvious as a troll, they won't get pissed off the least bit. A post like that doesn't spark the reader's anger, it sparks his humor or in this case, common sense. Plus, the Anonymous people, or should I say 4chan, don't go around posting the same overused shit. None of them say they have Herpes anymore or that they "f-ed" a girl and got caught then later got it as a "joke". It's newfaggotry, you wouldn't know because you don't troll either, or even go on 4chan.

Plus, you shouldn't even be giving advice about trolling Hardcore. Last time I checked, you would go on random cursing sprees and last time I checked, you have never actually "trolled".

I have on other websites. And on youtube. My username is fuckdoodle. Believe me, YouTube is filled with noobs who get mad over the stupidest things. For example, I trolled the Transformers trailer and people got mad. And please, I haven't randomly swore for no reason in a long time, so please get off my dick about it.

HardcoreGamer4Ever wrote:

TheBlueYoshi wrote:Not really. People will just see you as retarded/obvious as a troll, they won't get pissed off the least bit. A post like that doesn't spark the reader's anger, it sparks his humor or in this case, common sense. Plus, the Anonymous people, or should I say 4chan, don't go around posting the same overused shit. None of them say they have Herpes anymore or that they "f-ed" a girl and got caught then later got it as a "joke". It's newfaggotry, you wouldn't know because you don't troll either, or even go on 4chan.

Plus, you shouldn't even be giving advice about trolling Hardcore. Last time I checked, you would go on random cursing sprees and last time I checked, you have never actually "trolled".

I have on other websites. And on youtube. My username is fuckdoodle. Believe me, YouTube is filled with noobs who get mad over the stupidest things. For example, I trolled the Transformers trailer and people got mad. And please, I haven't randomly swore for no reason in a long time, so please get off my dick about it.

You have a flipping list. Trolls don't have fucking lists because trolls don't give a shit about who blocked them or what not. They don't need a list to remind them that someone blocked them because the first thing trolls are supposed to know is that they're successful, it's newfaggotry.

"I do whatever the fuck I want, wherever the fuck I want, whenever the fuck I want, with whoever the fuck I want, however the fuck I want, and you fucking worthless inbred fucktards can't do a fucking goddamn thing about it!" Yeah right, I saw the word fuck in there more than I saw "I" in there. Thanks for covering it up. kthnx

TheBlueYoshi wrote:

HardcoreGamer4Ever wrote:

TheBlueYoshi wrote:Not really. People will just see you as retarded/obvious as a troll, they won't get pissed off the least bit. A post like that doesn't spark the reader's anger, it sparks his humor or in this case, common sense. Plus, the Anonymous people, or should I say 4chan, don't go around posting the same overused shit. None of them say they have Herpes anymore or that they "f-ed" a girl and got caught then later got it as a "joke". It's newfaggotry, you wouldn't know because you don't troll either, or even go on 4chan.

Plus, you shouldn't even be giving advice about trolling Hardcore. Last time I checked, you would go on random cursing sprees and last time I checked, you have never actually "trolled".

I have on other websites. And on youtube. My username is fuckdoodle. Believe me, YouTube is filled with noobs who get mad over the stupidest things. For example, I trolled the Transformers trailer and people got mad. And please, I haven't randomly swore for no reason in a long time, so please get off my dick about it.

You have a flipping list. Trolls don't have fucking lists because trolls don't give a shit about who blocked them or what not. They don't need a list to remind them that someone blocked them because the first thing trolls are supposed to know is that they're successful, it's newfaggotry.

"I do whatever the fuck I want, wherever the fuck I want, whenever the fuck I want, with whoever the fuck I want, however the fuck I want, and you fucking worthless inbred fucktards can't do a fucking goddamn thing about it!" Yeah right, I saw the word fuck in there more than I saw "I" in there. Thanks for covering it up. kthnx

I know. That's why I deleted it. Here's my first example of real trolling: http://www.debate.org/debate/13207/ I know it sucks, but it's the first time I've trolled. I know it doesn't seem like trolling because I'm not flaming anyone, according to this article, swearing and flaming people is not good trolling and that you should not be obvious about it: http://www.urban75.com/Mag/troll.html Please tell me what you think.

HardcoreGamer4Ever wrote:
I know. That's why I deleted it. Here's my first example of real trolling: http://www.debate.org/debate/13207/ I know it sucks, but it's the first time I've trolled. I know it doesn't seem like trolling because I'm not flaming anyone, according to this article, swearing and flaming people is not good trolling and that you should not be obvious about it: http://www.urban75.com/Mag/troll.html Please tell me what you think.

I guess you can consider that a troll, but then again, it's not that obvious to actually consider it a troll. When I read it, it seems like you were actually going for it, (I know in reality you weren't, but it seems like through that paragraph you were), which you aren't supposed to do. You provided factual evidence which more or less gives it off as a debate, and not a "troll".

Oh well, I'll get better.