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CartoonLink
#1

on Sat May 12, 2012 10:52 am

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
okay so it starts out with mario and peach getting married XD and then they go to tokyo for it to happen XD and tokyo is full of ppl XD and then mario, link, peach, lasagna, daisy, zelda, kirby, and marth all get fucked up beyond belief XD and then they wake up hungover and it seems that the girls are lost XD but mario and link dont give up hope yet XD so they go on an adventure to find them XD

Chapter 1.

Five months ago...

Mario and Peach were eating where they went for their very first date... Lugia's Pasta and Pizza.

Mario: Peach, this is wonderful!
Peach: Oh Mario, I know! I'm so happy tonight.
Mario: Y'know, living at my brothers house these past few years... I think it's time to take the next step in life.
Peach: You're not getting bored with things are you?!
Mario: No... um, maybe you could just check what is waiting for you under the table.
Peach: Is it kinky?!
Mario: I don't think so, but you'll be surprised what is waiting for you.
Peach: It's okay if you wanna add more spicy-ness to our relationship!
Mario: Then check what's under!

Mario checked his phone to see what time it was, and forgot that his background was a picture of Peach's ass crack. His three inch floppy disk turned into an eight inch hard drive.

Mario: ...shit...
Peach: Okay, I'll check!
Mario: Um, wait!

Peach went under the table, she saw Mario's dick was hard as a dinosaurs skull, so she decided to suck him off as she thought that's what he meant about the "spice".

Mario: MAMMAMIA! HOLY SHIT, FUCKING RIGHT DOGGY. DAMN IT, FUUUUUUUUUUCK. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH.

Peach was slobbering all around his penis. While his penis was erect, Peach had just gotten a new tongue piercing which Mario was sensitive to.
The owner Lugia came out to ask what was wrong, Mario had never met him before.

Lugia: Is there a problem, sir?
Mario: FUCK NO!

Mario gasped, jumped out of his seat, and just as he did, his penis was throbbing. He ejaculated all over Lugia.

Lugia: What... the fuck?!
Mario: Mammamia! Mr. Lugia, I am sorry! SHIT!

It turns out Lugia's worst enemy was semen, as when he was making his way to the womb, he almost died. Lugia had a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital.

Mario: Wow... I meet my hero and I almost kill him.
Peach: Mario... I found this ring on the floor, is it yours?
Mario: Yes Peach, that's what I meant, not for you to suck my schlong!

Luigi was standing in the corner this whole time laughing. He came over.

Luigi: Oh my fucking, hahahahah. This is some funny shit jackass.
Mario: Luigi go away! Anyways Peach... what is it?
Peach: Well it tasted like grape because of that grape condom I found you jerking off with this morning.
Mario: NO, ugh, fuck. Will you marry me?
Peach: YES!

SUPER MARIO THE WEDDING

End of chapter.



Last edited by CartoonLink on Sat May 12, 2012 10:56 am; edited 1 time in total

SRB1996
#2

on Sat May 12, 2012 10:54 am

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Kid Roy
Kid Roy
The fuck is this shit? Hilarious! Keep it up bro

Smash
#3

on Sat May 12, 2012 11:59 am

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Ah, a CL fanfic. Full of sex jokes as usual

http://www.smashteamproductions.webs.com
CartoonLink
#4

on Sat May 12, 2012 11:59 am

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Smash, just because you're a twelve year old failure doesn't mean my fanfic is bad.

SRB1996
#5

on Sat May 12, 2012 12:01 pm

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Kid Roy
Kid Roy
He is not a failure, he is the almighty Groundon7777777777777777777777777777

Smash
#6

on Sat May 12, 2012 2:49 pm

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Guys, I don't like being called that anymore.

http://www.smashteamproductions.webs.com
Hydrocannon2727
#7

on Fri May 18, 2012 10:20 am

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Zoroark
Zoroark
What a kinky story.

CartoonLink
#8

on Fri May 18, 2012 10:37 am

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Chapter 2.

Mario was in the shower masturbating. Peach knocked on the door.

Mario: Yes?!
Peach: Mario, what are you doing in there?
Mario: Um... I'm singing!
Peach: Doesn't sound like it. Are you jerking off again?
Mario: Of fucking course not! My nuts are still sore from that fucking piercing attempt we tried when we were both piss ass drunk.

FLASHBACK BEGINS.

Mario and Peach were out partying because they were engaged.

Mario: Pe uach, yoro bum whole us nolting more dan amzingo.
Peach: Oh Mallio, hayuv ma bebbez!
Mario: I al will!
Peach: Eye gottan dea!

Twenty minutes later.

Mario: FUUUUAIKAAAAAAAAAAAACK!
Peach: Cawmon Mallio piercing yo pinky dinky can uhjug not gurt that a bad!

They paid half of their wedding savings to get the piercing planted and removed.

Mario: GAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUJHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. RAAMOVE ITTT!

The guy removed it. Mario was crying. The guy just finished snorting crystal meth about an hour before the appointment, so he did a bad job. Mario's scrotum had a big cut in it and Peach started to stick her fingers in it and tore it open even more.

Mario: MAWUAHWHHSHDHA STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAP!

Luigi was sitting in the corner laughing.

Luigi: Wahahah, why do no won pay tention to Weegee!

The inside of Mario's scrotum was throbbing, it was very swolen. The only reason Mario's two testicles did not fall out because they were sticking there by the cords. His sperm was freaking out, one even went so far to kill itself because it was scared that it was gonna die so it killed itself anyways by jumping onto the floor.

Mario had to get his scrotum sewn back up.

FLASHBACK ENDS.

Mario: And because of that, we had to postpone our fucking wedding by four months!
Peach: Well, you know how I am around tequila!
Mario: Sigh, let me just finish up-
Peach: So you are jerking off...
Mario: NO! I, uh, mean singing! I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS...

Twenty minutes later.

Mario: L U V Madonna! Y O U you wanna!

Ten minutes later.

Mario: That's why me and my bitch ass hoes were chillin' in ma basement, they were sucking my dick, I could not describe my thought of that one element, I jizzed all over the one chick, and that is why yo' nigga ass stay in school!
Peach: Fuck sakes Mario, you've been in there for an hour, you think you would've finished jerking off by now?!
Mario: Oh... I stopped when I was singing. Lemme just finish it up!

Forty minutes later. Mario is out of the shower and they are on their way to the airport.

Mario: Letsa go!.

They arrived at the airport.

End of chapter.

Hydrocannon2727
#9

on Fri May 18, 2012 10:41 am

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Zoroark
Zoroark

Skochko
#10

on Fri May 18, 2012 8:43 pm

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Administrator
Administrator
"The guy removed it. Mario was crying." - That shit is hilarious.
"Mario: L U V Madonna!" - I died here.

So much better than Porkemon.


____________________________________
k
CartoonLink
#11

on Sun May 20, 2012 9:31 am

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Chapter 3.

Mario and Peach walked into the air port.

Link: Hiyah!
Mario: Link, how are ya!
Link: Ughagh!
Mario: Not this shit again.
Peach: He can't talk again?

Zelda came walking up.

Mario: What happened this time?
Zelda: Fuck, you don't even wanna know.

FLASHBACK BEGINS.

Zelda: UGH, AGH, AGH, AGAAAAAGH, OOOOHH! Keep going, I'm about to cum!
Link: Anything for you, baby!

Link and Zelda were sex addicts. When Link was nine years old, he was raped by Hermione Granger, so ever since that, he couldn't stop. He masturbates about nine times a day, and him and Zelda have sex about four times a day. Zelda was raped by Link a couple of months after Link was raped, so ever since then they've been having sex everyday for the past nine years.

Link: AAAGH, I'M ABOUT TO CUM!
Zelda: Blow it on my face this time, okay? I hate taking birth controls, it makes me depressed!
Link: I won't cum until you cum, are you about to cum?
Zelda: I need five more minutes...
Link: SHIT! AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHAHHGAAAAA!

Link ejaculated inside of Zelda's cervix. While she did not maintain a stable orgasm, she was satisfied as she new she was close to a loved one.

Zelda: WHAT THE FUCK LINK! YOU LET YOUR DINK SPIT IN ME AGAIN! FUCK!
Link: That's the point Zelda, we're gonna have a creampie.

Link pulled his penis outside of Zelda's vaginal opening. They awaited twenty seconds for the ejaculation cream to slide out of her vagina.

Zelda: Link, that's fucking sick! What if I got pregnant.... AGAIN!
Link: HAHAHA, that's fine! Birth control makes your jugs bigger!

Zelda was furious. She was wearing high heels the whole time during their sexual encounter. She rammed her right foot into Link's scrotum (where his testicles are held inside).

Link: DAUAGH! MMMMMMMMMMMM.................................... UUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHH!
Zelda: You deserve it you son of a bitch!

FLASHBACK ENDS.

Mario: That's a little harsh man...
Zelda: Pipe down you nut pierced fuck blut!
Peach: What the fucks a blut?
Zelda: Haha, I'll tell you when we get on the plane! Love ya girlfriend!
Peach: Mario, go get our tickets, we're gonna go have a drink or two!
Zelda: You too Link, go get our tickets and you can fucking pay this time for giving me a cream pie.
Link: Egghhh...

Mario and Link walked to the line. There were 412 people in the same line because the one line was malfunctioning so they cannot use that line.

Four hours later they are finally at the front of the line.

Link: Hiyah!
Lady: Hello, what flight may I book you for?
Link: Ughah!
Lady: Excuse me, sir?
Mario: I'll handle this. Hi, seven for Tokyo, Japan. Flight 263.
Lady: Alright, that'll be $4167.19.
Mario: WHAT! Egh, Link, want me to get it?
Link: YAAAAH!

Mario paid the lady and got the tickets. They walked to the door as they saw their two other friends coming and Luigi.

Mario: Marth, ma man! How's it going?
Marth: It's going good. I just invested a scientific experiment called Hydroxide Nucleus Carbonic Acidic Base Dump, it was a success, and I have made over $10,000,000,000 because of it.
Mario: Wow... that's a shit load.

Mario thought to himself that why couldn't he just pay for the tickets.

Kirby: Sup my nigguhs?
Mario: Kirby, you look great!

Peach and Zelda came up to Mario, drunk as fuck.

Peach: Eeehgh Mallio, cawnon bebbeh lets do it!
Mario: No, let's just get on the plane.

Mario and friends were boarding the plane, when Luigi finally showed up and got in.

End of chapter.

Hydrocannon2727
#12

on Sun May 20, 2012 9:53 am

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Zoroark
Zoroark
Ugh, I hate filler episodes.

CartoonLink
#13

on Sun May 20, 2012 9:54 am

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Hydrocannon2727 wrote:Ugh, I hate filler episodes.

But it was still funny, and it needed to explain why Link can't talk.

Skochko
#14

on Sun May 20, 2012 11:12 am

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Administrator
Administrator
This was a terrible chapter. I don't get the random mention of Hermione and overusing sex as comedy. It's not even that funny.


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k
5gSkyYoshi
#15

on Mon May 21, 2012 5:47 pm

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Administrator
Administrator
This reminds me of X-men Origins: Wolverine.


____________________________________
Spark~, Thanks Pik, for the sig.
Wings... Don't fail me now!!


Spoiler:

Electro-Award - 5gSkyYoshi
Sonic Rainboom Award - 5gSkyYoshi
Most Shocking - 5gSkyYoshi
Strongest Gamer - 5gSkyYoshi
Best Person who "Flies Away Now" - 5gSkyYoshi
Bzt!~ Thanks all who voted for me!~
Hydrocannon2727
#16

on Wed May 23, 2012 4:05 pm

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Zoroark
Zoroark
I can't tell if you're trolling or making a crazy reference

CartoonLink
#17

on Thu Jun 21, 2012 6:27 am

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Chapter 4.

They boarded the plane.

Link had to sit between a very obese couple that added up to over 841 lbs.
Mario had to sit beside two pornstars, Ron Jeremy and Tia Tanaka.
Peach and Zelda got to sit beside Mike Tyson.
Marth had to sit beside a MILF and Kirby had to be strapped in a booster seat.
Luigi sat by himself because nobody pays attention to him.

Tia Tanaka: LOL, you two look just like eachother!
Mario: What?! No we don't!
Ron Jeremy: Huahuah, yeh we do summit'. Hows yer sexy life treatin ya?
Mario: Well...

Story was told.

Ron Jeremy: RHAAHAHAAHGHAAHAHAGHAGHAHGAHGHAGHAGHAGHAHGAHA!
Mario: Shut up! It fucking hurts my scrotum!
Tia Tanaka: Once you get him laughing like that, he won't stop.
Ron Jeremy: RHAAHAHAAHGHAAHAHAGHAGHAHGAHGHAGHAGHAGHAHGAHARHAAHAHAAHGHAAHAHAGHAGHAHGA
HGHAGHAGHAGHAHGAHARHAAHAHAAHGHAAHAHAGHAGHAHGAHGHAGHAGHAGHAHGAHARHAAHAHA
AHGHAAHAHAGHAGHAHGAHGHAGHAGHAGHAHGAHARHAAHAHAAHGHAAHAHAGHAGHAH
GAHGHAGHAGHAGHAHGAHARHAAHAHAAHGHAAHAHAGHAGHAHGAHGHAGHAGH
AGHAHGAHARHAAHAHAAHGHAAHAHAGHAGHAHGAHGHAGHAGHAGHAHGAHAR
HAAHAHAAHGHAAHAHAGHAGHAHGAHGHAGHAGHAGHAHGAHARHAAHAHAAH
GHAAHAHAGHAGHAHGAHGHAGHAGHAGHAHGAHARHAAHAHAAHGHAAHA
HAGHAGHAHGAHGHAGHAGHAGHAHGAHARHAAHAHAAHGHAAHAHAGHA
GHAHGAHGHAGHAGHAGHAHGAHARHAAHAHAAHGHAAHAHAGHAGHA
HGAHGHAGHAGHAGHAHGAHARHAAHAHAAHGHAAHAHAGHAGHAH
GAHGHAGHAGHAGHAHGAHARHAAHAHAAHGHAAHAHA
GHAGHAHGAHGHAGHAGHAGHAHGAHA!
Mario: Fuck!

The flight attendant had an announcement.

Sexy bitch attendant: Okay everyone! We have two special guests joining us today! Ron Jeremy and Tia Tanaka!
Ron Jeremy: Huahuah, hey erreybady! Me and Tia gonna show you yo' own porn video! So get recordin'.
Tia Tanaka: My vag is so tight! Even though I've fucked 300 men!
Mario: What the fuck?
Mike Tyson: Dude, what the fuck ith going on? Holy thshiiiit.
Peach and Zelda: Just let us keep massaging you!

Tia Tanaka and Ron Jeremy went on the bed that was placed infront of the door. They took off their pants, Tia slapped Ron's penis, and before you know it, it came erect.

The crowd: YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! GO RON GO! GO RON GO! GO RON GO!
Mario: Hey, I look like Ron!
The crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET THIS FAGGOT OFF THE PLANE!
Ron Jeremy: I will not be using a condom™ this time! Everyone, prepare to be mind blown on! RHAAHAHAAHGHAAHAHAGHAGHAHGAHGHAGHAGHAGHAHGAHARHAAHAHAAHGHAAHAHAGHAGHAHGAHGHAGHAGHAGHA.

Ron laid on the bed while Tia jumped on him and spread her legs. You could see the inside of her anus. There was a brown circle around the anal opening meaning that she got ass raped while taking a shit.

Four hours later, and they were still at it.

Tia Tanaka was in some weird pose where her two legs were wrapped over he shoulders and she was getting butthole fucked by his 9.75 inch self recorded penis™.

Meanwhile, Link was in between the battle of the boars. They were fighting over a bucket of KFC.

Nancy: HAAARROLLLLDD!!! I GET THE FREAKING LAST FOUR PIECES!
Harold: NANCY, STOP FREAKING BETRAYING ME I'M ON YO' TEAM! STOPP!!! STOOOOOOOOOPPPPPP!!!
Link: NITRAHG!

Back to the porn video... six hours later.

Ron Jeremy: I'm about to cum!

Ron Jeremy pulled out his penis from Tia Tanaka's rectum and ejaculated on her face for 50 seconds, then turned around and sent the rest towards the audience. It turns out he has a built in butt plug already inside his anus to make his splooge 10 kg of jizz at a time.

Tia Tanaka: I gotta let a rip!

Tia Tanaka farted, but blood came out of her asshole.

Tia Tanaka: What the fuck Ron! You said that only happens to virgin assholes!
Ron Jeremy: Huahuah, you liked it! Now I gotta let a rip!

Ron Jeremy also let a rip, but this time ejaculation cream from his prostate came out.

The crowd: FUCK YEAH RON!!!! YYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

Mario: What the fuck, seriously!
Kirby: This is a very unpleasant plane ride.

Michael Stefano came out from the shadows.

Michael Stefano: Well Ron, we meet again.
The crowd: BBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Michael Stefano: Well fuck you motherfuckers!

Michael Stefano vanished into thin air as if he was just a bag in the wind.

The plane ride was over, they all got off the plane.

Mario: That was such a horrible plane ride... I met my complete equal!
Peach: ...LOL! He has a big dick, Mario!
Mario: Peach... please shut up, that's our secret.
Peach: Everyone! I call Mario Pinky Dinky in bed!

Mario sighed in disbelief.

Link came back but with only his underwear and toque on.

Marth: Link, what happened?!
Link: Hayh, huew, hagh, YAHH!
Marth: They were that hungry they ate your clothes, eh?

Announcer from airport: WELCOME TO PARIS, FUCKERS!

End of chapter.

Hydrocannon2727
#18

on Sat Jun 30, 2012 3:25 am

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Zoroark
Zoroark
What a nice announcer.

CartoonLink
#19

on Sat Jul 28, 2012 4:33 pm

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Chapter 5.

Mario: Wait, what?! We're supposed to be in Tokyo.
Link: KAUHHRAAUGH!
Kirby: Mallio, I calculate a 90% possibility that 85% of people in this building are Asians.
Marth: Hmph, we are in Tokyo.
Mario: Everyone here?

Mario, Luigi, Peach, Zelda, Link, Marth, and Kirby all met and then headed for the hotel.

AT THE HOTEL.

Mario went up to the desk to book three rooms.

Mario: Hi, I'm here to book three rooms.
Trainee Asian Kid: Herro, I arm extremrey preased to herp you wirf your room. Wourd you rike sreets or prain rooms?
Mario: Suites.
Trainee Asian Kid: Wre do havre free sreets on dis rever.
Mario: I'll get the three suites on the highest level.
Trainee Asian Kid: Yessirrey sir Mallio.
Mario: Wait, what?!
Trainee Asian Kid: Or shit! I cannort figure dis shit out, remme go get my supervisorrrr.
Mario: Um alright...

Luigi was masturbating to the fountain because the fountain had jelly jugs.

Peach: Oh, you are just absolutely disgusting!
Zelda: I will kick your testicles up your rectum, Luigi.
Luigi: SHADDUP JACKASSES, I'M ALMOST THERE!

The trainee came back with his supervisor who happened to be black.

Black Supervisor: Yo nigga, whut shit yo cracker ass need?
Mario: Three suites on floor 21.
Black Supervisor: Kay, slantey cracker, get over here! To do this, you need to blat blat this motherfucking majig to cooperate with the axis of the nigger suites.
Mario: Um, what the fuck did you just even say?!
Black Supervisor: Look nigger, this shit no concern a fat italian nigger white kid like you, aight mate?
Mario: Umm... alright...

Mario got the room keys, which happened to come in cards in this Asian hotel of pures.

Mario: Alright guys, I got the key cards! Here's for me and Peach.

Peach grabbed it and walked to the room like a very stuck up bitch with a sweaty asshole.

Mario: Here's for Zelda, and Link!
Zelda: About time you fucking yocal!
Mario: What?!

Zelda grabbed the card and started walking to the room.

Mario: Here's for Marth, Kirby, and Luigi!
Marth: Hmph, why do we have to bunk with Luigi?
Mario: C'mon man... make it my wedding present!
Marth: Ugh, alright fuck, fine.

Mario's phone rang.

Mario: Hello?
Peach: Me and Zelda are having a girls night out, so you can fuck your ass up tonight because I'm going to have some fun!
Mario: What?

Peach hung up.

Mario: Alright guys, let's hit the bar!

They went to the bar known as the Resident Metal Devil which is loosely based upon games from Capcom and Konami, as if they had merged.

Mario: This is nice!
Kirby: Yeah, it really is! I'm getting us some Rolling Rock.
Link: HUAH, AHAUHAAGH!
Kirby: It's beer Link, settle.

Mario, Link, Marth, and Luigi sat down at a table.

Mario: Nice! The Blue Bombers game is on!

Five minutes later.

Mario: YEAAAAH! WE WON 55-11 IN THE GREY CUP GAME! THE DROUGHT IS OVER!
Link: LLLLLLLLYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
Marth: Noice!
Luigi: I'm more of a Roughriders fan anyways.
Mario: GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM US AND LEAVE US ALONE!

Luigi had burst into tears, and was forced to leave. But some scrawny Asian hooker had met up with him and took him into a port-a-potty.

Luigi had undone his overalls, but by the time that happened the hooker shoved a butt plug inside Luigi's rectum which can cause him to jizz like a race horse. Luigi's penis had changed from a 9 millimetre peter to a 17 inch pinch.

Luigi: Fuck yeah!
Prostitute: 私はあなたの脳をファックするつもりです!
Luigi: What the fuck did you say?
Prostitute: 私はあなたの脳をファックするつもりです!
Luigi: Nevermind...

Luigi had grasped her breasts and taken ahold of her hard, hard nipples, so hard it can slice glass. His dick was well shoved up her pooper and she was rubbing her clitoris. It went on for quite awhile.

Luigi: I am about to cum!
Prostitute: だから私は、です!
Luigi: What???
Prostitute: 私も兼つもりだ!
Luigi: Fuck it! HWWUAUUGHAHGAHGHAGHRAAAAGH!

Luigi had ejaculated inside of her.

Marth finally came back with the drinks.

Kirby: That took long, what happened?
Marth: Eh, said he had to go get the drinks ready because Rolling Rock is a rare brand here, although popular.
Kirby: That makes-
Marth: I know.
Link: Hihg, haagh, whew, haugh, yreah!
Kirby: I agree. Mario, these last few days are your final days of being free. Here's to a fun fucking night!

The drinking began. Mario awoke the next morning in his room on the floor.

Mario: Ugh.... I don't... recall a thing...
Link: Fuck, neither do I!
Mario: Where's Kirby and Marth???
Link: Shit... I dunno!

Mario was scared because he does not remember anything from the night before.

End of chapter.

Hydrocannon2727
#20

on Sat Sep 08, 2012 5:24 pm

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Zoroark
Zoroark
Yes, yes, Hangover parody, make it happen!

Logan
#21

on Fri Dec 07, 2012 3:19 pm

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Olimar
Olimar
LOL, this is fucking hilarious. Just as good, maybe even better than Porkemon.

http://www.happykatana.wordpress.com
CartoonLink
#22

on Fri Dec 07, 2012 9:11 pm

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Logan wrote:LOL, this is fucking hilarious. Just as good, maybe even better than Porkemon.

What is one of the funnier parts?

Logan
#23

on Sat Dec 08, 2012 3:57 am

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Olimar
Olimar
CartoonLink wrote:
Logan wrote:LOL, this is fucking hilarious. Just as good, maybe even better than Porkemon.

What is one of the funnier parts?

There's quite a bit of parts that are funnier, like Luigi having sex with the hooker or Ron Jeremy and Tia Tanaka doing it anal and when she farted and blood came out.

http://www.happykatana.wordpress.com
CartoonLink
#24

on Sun Dec 30, 2012 11:34 am

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Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Chapter 6.

Mario: I don't think I've ever been this hungover!
Link: Nayru damn man, neither have I... Wait, I can talk?

Ron Jeremy walked in the room.

Ron Jeremy: Yeah hehe, summit'.
Mario: I don't understand what the fuck summit' means? And where did you come from?
Ron Jeremy: Well we had good nights paps, you wouldn't even remember.
Mario: Well no shit... But why are you here?
Ron Jeremy: Me an' Tia and Jenna Jameson and Ashlynn Brooke all needed a place to stay and have sex, you had sum fun wiff us man!
Mario: What are you talking about?

Ashlynn Brooke walked out of the bedroom.

Ashlynn: Oh my god Mario! You are half as big as Ron here and fuck was it amazing!
Mario: I'm pretty sure I'm bigger than four and three quarters inches?
Ashlynn: Nope, we measured you last night, you and Ron went side by side and you are only half as big as him!
Mario: Wait.... WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?? So not only did I touch my dick against another dick... I fucked you???
Ashlynn: Yep, haha, what's wrong with that?
Mario: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Tia: Don't forget about me! My petite little ass fucking got so horny with your penis penetrating and rubbing my G spot!
Ron Jeremy: RAAGHAHGHAHAHGAHGHAGHAHGAHGHGHAGHAHGHAGHAHGAHGHAHGA
GHAGHAHGHAGHAHGAHGHAGHAGHAHGHAGHAGHAHGAHGAHGHAGA
AHGAHGHAGHAHGAHGHAGHAGHAHGAHGHAGHAHGAHGHAGHAHAHA!
Mario: RON, SHUT UP! Could this day get any worse...

Kirby awoke from the closet, and came out, and it turned out he had Peach's panties with him, and her bra.

Mario: KIRBY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT?!
Kirby: Oh, uh, hey Mario! I actually don't remember... I seriously can't.
Mario: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!!
Link: Well, something happened to us. But I can't put my finger on it.

Marth awoke from behind the bar. It turns out Marth experiences erectile dysfunction because Kirby woke up with an extremely hard penis, while Marth was wearing no pants and the length of his penis when flaccid is 0.9124718 inches, which is considered small.

Marth: Oh, my head.... what happened???
Ashlynn: You don't remember, baby?
Marth: Does it look like I remember?
Ashlynn: You had whiskey dick, took me two hours and you still couldn't get up. So Ron here had to stick his dick in your ass and milk your prostate, making you able to jizz! Right into my mouth. It was sexy! And then after that you sky rocketed to the roof and hit your head on the extremely sharp fan.
Marth: And that would explain why I have a bunch of blood on the fucking back of my head! FUCK SAKES!
Mario: This all makes no sense to me... Where is Luigi?

Mario received a call on his cell phone, the gayest ringtone came on. It was the Touhou theme.

Mario: Hello?
???: If you want to know the whereabouts of your brother, meet me at this location.

While in the background, Marth and Kirby were talking.

Marth: Bro, did you fuck Peach?
Kirby: Honestly man... I don't recall a thing. All I thought we were drinking were a few beers and some shots?
Marth: That's what the plan was.
Link: I knew I drank my ass off, sick of this fucking shit with Zelda. Haven't seen her all day and I'm horny as fuck!

Back to Mario.

Mario: We'll meet you there! C'mon guys!
Link, Marth, Kirby: Alright!
Ron Jeremy: Where do we go?
Mario: You get the fuck out of here, alright! This NEVER happened!
Ron Jeremy: Gotcha!

End of chapter.

Sorry, it really wasn't that good but I didn't know exactly how to continue this part, but I hope you guys, especially you Logan, got a decent laugh out of it. More chapters coming soon!



Last edited by CartoonLink on Mon Dec 31, 2012 5:37 am; edited 1 time in total

Logan
#25

on Sun Dec 30, 2012 9:31 pm

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Olimar
Olimar
It was still hilarious. I love how you include porn stars in a Mario fan fiction. CL, you are officially my favorite person on TND.

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