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Smash
#1

Sun Nov 02, 2014 11:56 am

Smash
Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
So, since I'm not in UBtT4 anymore, I need to find something to do on this forum. Now, the chat box has never been a place where I can just relax on here, and I honestly felt like writing something. Normally I would work on my main project in this case, but I guess you could say I wasn't really feeling it.

Zman's Adventure 8d843c3a5d85d8ee23150e10852af13c3e5089d4e055c2db84bc31519b2b4e06_large

So instead, I bring you an original story about everyone's favorite biased mod. Let's begin.

PROLOGUE

Once upon a time, in an unspecific college, in an unspecific area on the east coast of the US, there was a guy, like any other guy. His name, was Zman Rwks. He had just finished his daily prayers to the great god, Sir, but suddenly, there was a huge explosion. Every part of the college was destroyed, except for the Physics room, which was in the same condition it was in before the explosion. I don't know what floor it was on, but if it was upstairs, it was just floating there. Zman was horrified, but then he remembered that if he really didn't want to go to Physics class, he could just skip it as long as there wasn't like a test or something.

Zman then received a visit from the great god, Sir. "Zman Rwks," he said. "I have a request of you."

"You came to visit a regular guy like me, Lord Sir?" asked Zman.

"The order of the trolls have formed an army to crush me and my co-god, Mama," said Sir. "They are led by the all powerful MarioKing. We need your help to defeat them."

"Why did you pick me?" asked Zman.

"You are the most faithful person I know," said Sir. "You have been chosen as the leader of a squad of five loyal individuals. You must find them. I will assist you with clues to they're location, and I will also give you the power of 10,000 Shreks as well."

"Who are they?"

"The first one is a mage known as MWH," said Sir "You will find him only in the mystical land of Flolololorida. But beware, he is known for practicing in the forbidden dark arts of Touhou."

"No way!"

"It's true. However, he seems to have grown tired of this dark voodoo, so you shouldn't need to worry about it too much. Remember Zman, Shrek is by your side."

TO BE CONTINUED

I do plan on continuing this by the way.

zmanrwks
#2

Sun Nov 02, 2014 11:59 am

zmanrwks
Moderator
Moderator
10/10

RandomConsomePanchi
#3

Sun Nov 02, 2014 2:33 pm

RandomConsomePanchi
Moderator
Moderator
Smash
you're making me feel things i never expected to feel

Smash
#4

Sun Nov 02, 2014 5:02 pm

Smash
Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
I hope those feelings are positive because I won't be pulling any punches in this abomination of a story that could even be a new low for me. You all better hold on to your hats because chapter one starts tomorrow after I get home from school!

Wiiboii
#5

Sun Nov 02, 2014 7:27 pm

Wiiboii
Yoshi Egg
Yoshi Egg
I find myself masturbating to this, and I don't know why. It feels so wrong. But I don't want to be right.

CartoonLink
#6

Sun Nov 02, 2014 8:44 pm

CartoonLink
Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Wiiboii wrote:I find myself masturbating to this, and I don't know why. It feels so wrong. But I don't want to be right.

Same here, it does have an incredible relaxation feel of arousal.

Groudon fanfic?

Skochko
#7

Mon Nov 03, 2014 2:38 am

Skochko
Administrator
Administrator
"co-god, Mama"

I'm offended by this. You suck.

Smash
#8

Mon Nov 03, 2014 2:50 pm

Smash
Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
I hope your dicks are ready for fapping because chapter 1 of what is possibly the worst thing I've ever made starts now!

CHAPTER 1

Zman has made it to Flolololorida via a long train ride. Lord Sir wanted him to take an airplane but Zman just HAD to know what the Excess Express was like in reality. This train was a lot shittier than the Excess Express. No really, there was literally shit splattered all over the walls of the train. Zman had to complain to the staff.

"There needs to be more shit on the walls next time," he said. "Make it so I think the train is made of shit!" Zman found his way to a nearby palace which was the home of MWH. He walked in and saw the mage. He was playing Senran Kagura: Now with 85% more nudity.

"Um, hello?" said Zman.

"GET AWAY!" screamed MWH.

"NO! Please Mr. MWH! Don't use your horrible Touhou powers on me!"

"I don't feel like it. Touhou is declining in my brain."

Sir came down from the heavens. "You see?" he said. "I told you he wouldn't use it."

MWH was surprised. "It's the great god, Sir!"

"Yeah, I forgot to give you guys your neat sirnames *cough*. They were picked by Shrek himself. First up, is Sir Zman Rwks, the Devourinator. And you, MWH. You are Sir MarioWorldHacker, the Burninator."

"That's dumb but I love it," said Zman.

There was a crash

"Oh I gotta go!" said Sir. "Shrek is with you!"

Outside the palace stood a pretty tough looking guy. He looked like someone who would speak his mind no matter how offensive it might have been thinking. That meant that he was a troll.

"Who are you?" asked MWH.

"I am Sir Cartoon Link, the Cocotroidyoshiprinceinator!" he said. "I am the strongest knight serving under Lord MarioKing. You may call me CL for short."

"Ciel?" asked MWH. "You mean that scientist chick from Mega Man Zero?"

"What? No!" said CL. "That game is shit, just like every other game that's not Skyward Sword!"

"Just like that train I was riding earlier!" said Zman.

"You had sex with a shitty train?" asked CL. He was both confused, and amused. Zman blushed in embarrassment. CL drew his sword and charged at MWH and Zman. MWH got scared and jumped into his closet.

"No!" yelled Zman. "You're supposed to help me!"

Zman dodged CL's attack, but just barely. "What?" said CL. "You can't dodge forever! C'mere you stupid Indian!" CL pinned Zman down, but before he could stab him, MWH leaped out of his closet and flashed a pornographic picture of Yuyuko at CL.

"NO! NOT TOUHOU! IT BURNS!" yelled CL. "I'll be back! But you won't be so lucky next time!"

TO BE CONTINUED

Wiiboii
#9

Mon Nov 03, 2014 7:42 pm

Wiiboii
Yoshi Egg
Yoshi Egg
Dude I bruised my dick because I was jerking so hard. Might want to cool on the hotness otherwise my balls will be turned into raisins. YES! YES!

zmanrwks
#10

Tue Nov 04, 2014 4:10 am

zmanrwks
Moderator
Moderator
2deep4me

CartoonLink
#11

Sat Dec 27, 2014 7:40 pm

CartoonLink
Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
[img]Zman's Adventure Zmanis12[/img]

The official box art for this.

Smash
#12

Sun Jan 11, 2015 11:41 am

Smash
Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
CHAPTER 2:

Zman and MWH have traveled far and wide searching for new allies. They arrived in an unknown area, but they knew they were on track.

Zman: Who are we looking for?

MWH: The most powerful warrior in the world. His name is Ken.

Zman: What does he do?

MWH: Ken stuff

Meanwhile, CL was watching them.

CL: That last battle crushed my spirit! I must beat them, or I will never cum again!

The two found Ken's house, and went inside without knocking.

Ken: Hey strangers! You're as welcome as that psycho from a few weeks ago. Very!

Sir came down again.

Sir: Hey, you found the next guy! How'd you know?

MWH: I didn't. Ken owes me a burrito.

Ken: But I don't know you.

MWH: That changes nothing!

Sir: Anyway, Ken is the next of the five warriors to assist you. He will be known as Sir Ken, The Randomconsomepanchipro2000gurrenlaganninator.

Ken: Great! This sounds fun!

Zman: Wait, what does he do to fight?

Sir: You know, Ken stuff.

???: Wait!

It was CL

CL: You're going to pay for what you did to me last time!

Zman: What did we do?

CL: That jerk MWH flashed Touhou in my face! That's the worst possible offense!

Zman: Lord Sir! Help us!

Sir was gone

CL kicked MWH and he fainted.

Zman: No! What now?

Ken: Leave it to me!

CL: What can you do?

Ken attacked by doing Ken stuff.

Zman: So this is Ken stuff!

CL: It's so beautiful!

CL experienced the biggest and most amazing orgasm in his life

CL: I can see clearly now...

CL fainted and MWH came to.

MWH: First Ken, you must go through initiation!

Ken: Initiation?

MWH: Look at these pictures!

Zman's Adventure Tumblr_m267xiZsd41qjo3qfo1_500

Zman's Adventure Tumblr_m2694uON2q1r6ghlu

Zman's Adventure Tumblr_m2695mmuzo1r6ghlu

Zman's Adventure Tumblr_m2695vsL1w1r6ghlu

Ken: CHEEP CHEEP!

TO BE CONTINUED!

CartoonLink
#13

Sun Jan 11, 2015 7:32 pm

CartoonLink
Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
i find the entire basis of this story unrealistic. how am not Leader of the trolls? also, you do have to rememer aerith was stapped in the spine and lived so I think zema wouldnt death CL after that.

Smash
#14

Mon Feb 23, 2015 3:47 am

Smash
Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
He didn't. Ken knocked CL out with Ken stuff.

CartoonLink
#15

Mon May 25, 2015 6:49 am

CartoonLink
Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
No. I always win. And you're well aware of that.

CartoonLink
#16

Mon Aug 31, 2015 11:48 am

CartoonLink
Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Now that I've actually wasted five minutes waiting for pizza to arrive, I have read this.

Some criticisms. For one, Mama isn't the god. I don't understand why someone who comes from below the mexico-Murica border can be a god. Like do they even believe in that shit? I don't know.

Two, Touhou runs at the site of me bcos pussy. So that's an inaccurate flaw as well. If only you saw my NHL 14-15 OTP trolling, of people raging over the mic you'd understand I always win.

You cannot win at the internet. Also, you're making me sound soft. If I'm offensive, make it be offensive. first off: Lord sir bless Dylann Roof.

Smash
#17

Mon Feb 15, 2016 1:14 pm

Smash
Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
CHAPTER 3:

Everyone except Sir spontaneously combusted.

THE END

CartoonLink
#18

Tue Feb 16, 2016 7:39 am

CartoonLink
Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
That was a horrible ending. I was truly the winner of this shitty story.

CartoonLink
#19

Fri Jun 03, 2016 7:40 am

CartoonLink
Zekrom & Reshiram
Zekrom & Reshiram
Once again, shitty ending. Fuck you.

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#20


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