ocarina of time review
right off the bat the first thing u'll notice is the incredibly shitty graphix. quite frankly this is such bad graphics ive ever seen. even for the eighties they could really be tightened up a bit
and when u get to the main menu u will immediately notice a lack of onlien multipleyer and dlc. really NINTENDO? REALLY? REALLY? no dethmatch? capture teh ocarina? not 3ven sum extra tunics? coupel hundred points a pop?/ some1 else had to make multipleyer zelda becuz nintendo was 2 damn lazy. its just a mod for sum shitty old gaem tho.
unfortenly wat u r left on this big ugly cartridge is a vrey unsaetisfyign singel pleyer champagne. im probably making all the nintendorks rage right now, but their also c00l as playing as a young boy in a tiny dress. u gonna trust me or a bunch of child hungry pedestrians? good, moving on.
after an infinit cutsc33n we finaely taek control of zelda. or atl33st as close 2 "controel" as u can get with this fishur price aborshun.
ur first mishun is to run arround stealing money from the uther childrens. waht a gr8 message 2 send out to a entire generator of kids. cant affoerd weponz? go out and st33l a bunch uv shit. way to spawn an army of melons.
its also worth noeting that theres no guns or gernades in this game. acshually most of the time the game forses u to walk up to people and talk 2 them. if i want 2 talk 2 people ill get skypes or msn. excuse me nintnedo i play video games to be entertained, how do i cut their dam heads off?
u get a swrod and dooku shield ner teh begginning but the shields a piece of shit taht burns up imeditly if ur atacked by fires. fortunetaly u get the hymen sheeld later on that cant get broke.
anyway after u save count dooku who fucking dies right after n e way. u leave cock ear forest adn ur girlie friend sarah whos still not in the kitchen 2 go collect sum rockz.
but b4 u can do that u better get ready for a cronic case of irritable owl sindrome. once he leaves too choke on sum dicks, u get 2 c how bad the graphicz r in this gaem. hymen field is flatter than sparky's mother. hymen castel isnt much betar. l00king liek a kids cardbored cut out.
theres no cars either. u get a horsie but u cant even use him till halfway thru the gaem when ur big zelda. once u kill wrex and jabba jabba's testicles and get theyre rocks off them u go to the church of tiem 2 get a better gun.
then u find out the evil gyrados has busted hymen up real bad and u has to go kick his ass. at this point u can go get ur horsie if u want but hes doing time and u gota race luigi for an houer to bust him out of horse jail.
once ur out u can put carrots in his ass by mashign A as fast as yuo can but if u put in too many he gets pissed off. WHICH IS FUCKEN RETARTED BECUZ IT SLOWZ THE GAME DOWN. U SHUD BE ABLE 2 MAKE UR HORSE RUN CONSTINTLY. know wut i m33n?
and from here, u just kill a bunch more laem ass boses and colect the five secret frisbees then u can go and slay gyrados once and 4 all. could this gaem be any moar fuckin linear! how bout sum variety? sum incoming enemy fantoms?
and last but not l33st. the graffix. their fucking terrible. in conclusions on a scael of negitive one to negitive ten i give ocarina of time a negitive eleven zillion. this is the worst gaem ive evur plaid in my entire lief. problem nintendorks?
right off the bat the first thing u'll notice is the incredibly shitty graphix. quite frankly this is such bad graphics ive ever seen. even for the eighties they could really be tightened up a bit
and when u get to the main menu u will immediately notice a lack of onlien multipleyer and dlc. really NINTENDO? REALLY? REALLY? no dethmatch? capture teh ocarina? not 3ven sum extra tunics? coupel hundred points a pop?/ some1 else had to make multipleyer zelda becuz nintendo was 2 damn lazy. its just a mod for sum shitty old gaem tho.
unfortenly wat u r left on this big ugly cartridge is a vrey unsaetisfyign singel pleyer champagne. im probably making all the nintendorks rage right now, but their also c00l as playing as a young boy in a tiny dress. u gonna trust me or a bunch of child hungry pedestrians? good, moving on.
after an infinit cutsc33n we finaely taek control of zelda. or atl33st as close 2 "controel" as u can get with this fishur price aborshun.
ur first mishun is to run arround stealing money from the uther childrens. waht a gr8 message 2 send out to a entire generator of kids. cant affoerd weponz? go out and st33l a bunch uv shit. way to spawn an army of melons.
its also worth noeting that theres no guns or gernades in this game. acshually most of the time the game forses u to walk up to people and talk 2 them. if i want 2 talk 2 people ill get skypes or msn. excuse me nintnedo i play video games to be entertained, how do i cut their dam heads off?
u get a swrod and dooku shield ner teh begginning but the shields a piece of shit taht burns up imeditly if ur atacked by fires. fortunetaly u get the hymen sheeld later on that cant get broke.
anyway after u save count dooku who fucking dies right after n e way. u leave cock ear forest adn ur girlie friend sarah whos still not in the kitchen 2 go collect sum rockz.
but b4 u can do that u better get ready for a cronic case of irritable owl sindrome. once he leaves too choke on sum dicks, u get 2 c how bad the graphicz r in this gaem. hymen field is flatter than sparky's mother. hymen castel isnt much betar. l00king liek a kids cardbored cut out.
theres no cars either. u get a horsie but u cant even use him till halfway thru the gaem when ur big zelda. once u kill wrex and jabba jabba's testicles and get theyre rocks off them u go to the church of tiem 2 get a better gun.
then u find out the evil gyrados has busted hymen up real bad and u has to go kick his ass. at this point u can go get ur horsie if u want but hes doing time and u gota race luigi for an houer to bust him out of horse jail.
once ur out u can put carrots in his ass by mashign A as fast as yuo can but if u put in too many he gets pissed off. WHICH IS FUCKEN RETARTED BECUZ IT SLOWZ THE GAME DOWN. U SHUD BE ABLE 2 MAKE UR HORSE RUN CONSTINTLY. know wut i m33n?
and from here, u just kill a bunch more laem ass boses and colect the five secret frisbees then u can go and slay gyrados once and 4 all. could this gaem be any moar fuckin linear! how bout sum variety? sum incoming enemy fantoms?
and last but not l33st. the graffix. their fucking terrible. in conclusions on a scael of negitive one to negitive ten i give ocarina of time a negitive eleven zillion. this is the worst gaem ive evur plaid in my entire lief. problem nintendorks?
